Men who were late bloomers/inexperienced with dating, etc. what did you actually need to work on?

I’m a young man of 21 and feel pretty stuck in this area of my life. I’m still a virgin, have never been on a one-on-one date, struggle to make close friendships, rarely feel attracted to someone, and don’t really know how to meet women or even friends naturally despite having good hobbies like volunteering, and interests, and being social. I’d probably consider myself partly demisexual? I’m mature, hardworking, obviously have flaws, but I struggle to find people who choose me or are genuinely interested. I’m one of those people you could probably tell is a “good kid”, I had to grow up fast, didn’t have my dad around growing up, and feel so different from my peers and others in my age group.

I’m also very hard on myself. I have big career goals and feel like I can’t afford a relationship financially, emotionally, or with my time. At the same time, I crave sex, affection, intimacy, companionship, and eventually having a family. It’s frustrating to want those things while simultaneously feeling like I don’t know how to build them, and I want to stop feeling numb/ pretending I’m ok or push my feelings down. I’m not sure mentally how to fix myself or believe I can do these things and trust god to help me.

The part I’m most concerned about isn’t even being a virgin. I worry that I’ve started becoming comfortable with being alone—or maybe I’m becoming numb to wanting connection because it’s easier than being disappointed. I feel like not trying sometimes, and even my desires are fading/don’t occur like they used to.

I also struggle with confidence, loneliness, overthinking, and feeling behind compared with other people my age. I don’t know how much of this is simply lack of experience versus something I genuinely need to change about myself.
For men who were late bloomers, socially inexperienced, lonely, or didn’t start dating until later:

**What did you eventually realize was actually holding you back? What did you have to change—mentally, socially, emotionally, or practically—to build friendships and eventually relationships?**
And if you could go back to your early 20s, **what would you start doing now instead of waiting for life to magically change?**
I’m not looking for “just get on dating apps” or “you’re still young.” I know that and I promise you I want to change as a man and be better and learn more every single day. I’m trying to figure out what I should actually *work on*. Honest answers are welcome and I posted a post in r/Christianity that explains my thought process as well and encourage you look, or just ask me questions and I’d love to discuss. Thank you and I hope you have a great day. God bless!