Her actions don't match her words, at all... What do I do?

So I (20M) went swimming alone two weeks ago. I ended up in the same lane as a girl my age. We started talking and there were some hints, like her resting times being suspiciously well-timed with mine. Once we got out and were showering, I decided to ask her for her number to go swimming together again some time, I got it. (This was Sunday)

We started talking on WhatsApp immediately, though it wasn't super flirty and her replies had 1-2h delays. It was still nice and a warm conversation. She almost immediately proposed to go swimming again next Thursday. We kept talking, Thursday arrived and she got sick the night before. So we cancelled, but she immediately tried rescheduling to next week. I told her she could just let me know when she felt better. We kept talking, and Saturday afternoon she told me she was better and suggested going for a swim the day after.

We went swimming, the vibe was great. I suggested going for a walk and talking afterwards, so we did that for two more hours until she had to go home to eat with her family. When we arrived at her car, she immediately gave me her availabilities to go swimming again the following week. I followed up a few hours later on WhatsApp and we were going again on Wednesday.

After meeting this first time, her messages got notably warmer. She got more flirty and started teasing me, started conversations herself and replied immediately sometimes. I also added her on Insta that Sunday. The Tuesday afterwards, she was out with her friends when suddenly she liked my oldest post from 2022 on Insta, which was definitely suspicious.

Anyways Wednesday came and 1h before we were supposed to go swimming, she started another fun conversation. At some point, we both said we remembered someone saying something else, so she jokingly said "Watch out, what do I get when I'm right?" so I took the opportunity and said "How does dinner made by me sound?" since she knows I like to cook. She replied with: "Wow, sounds fun and I'm sure it would be delicious :) I do have to admit I'd like to keep things as friends for the moment. It looks like things are going the other way quite quickly"...

I was flabbergasted but kept my cool. We went swimming anyways that evening, she said "Sorry about... It's really not you" during it. I thought we'd have some distance but once outside she immediately asked if I could go again the same week. I replied I'd have to see with my schedule and I'd let her know. She sent me a message later that evening with her availabilities and wishing me a fun evening. We ended up going swimming again, it was great again, talked for 10 min at our cars afterwards and she suggested another time (this Wednesday) once again.

Up until last time we went swimming, we were in contact daily. I haven't started a conversation after the last session (last Saturday afternoon) and we haven't had contact since for the first time. Yesterday evening she did watch an Instagram story of me playing the piano and then liked it a few hours later.

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Honestly, I'm just confused how she feels about me. Yes, she said she wanted to keep things platonic for now. Usually I tell girls we have different intentions and it may be better to break contact in that case, but this situation just feels different. Her actions don't match her words (in my opinion) but I don't really want to pressure her either since she did state her boundary. What do you guys think?

Posted Aug 10, 2026, 4:13 PM UTC

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