Failed and want to discontinue program

This is a very vulnerable post. I am in need of genuine advice and someone who will understand. I am the only person who graduated from pharm school in my family. Family advice is great but I need someone to be raw with me.

I took my NAPLEX couple of days ago. Found out I failed it. I am currently in a PGY-1 residency and it’s been really rough. I know residency is suppose to be this way however it’s only been a month and my mental health plummeted. I feel very incompetent and feel as if I know nothing. Now after finding out I failed I feel even worse. It’s like I fell into this deep hole I can’t seem to get out of. People around me are very encouraging and tell me to keep my head up.

Residency has been such a dramatic change in my life and my program isn’t as supportive as they seem to be. Preceptors grill me and put me on the spot (as they do with any program). If I don’t know anything it’s “you need to know this for NAPLEX” or I constantly hear sighs because I don’t know something. On top of all of that I get 10 DIQs every single day just because I didn’t know something and when I do ask a question I am hit with a “I don’t know you tell me.“ It’s been a real challenge from working 8/9 hour day shifts to 10 hour weekend shifts and then studying for NAPLEX on top of all of that.

I am considering dropping from my residency because I’m being over worked and feeling super burned out and I feel as if I won’t be able to study properly and pass the NAPLEX a second time around. There’s no stress about being licensed before my due date however I am just super miserable at my site and regret pursing pharmacy. I can’t be asked to do another vanco consult I will go insane. I appreciate constructive criticism but it’s becoming brutal and to the point where it feels like i’m purposely being put down. Even the technicians are very off putting and rude towards me. Me and my co-resident hear stuff like “I don’t know you are the pharmacist“ to simple questions on where can I find X drug.

Should I drop out of my program?