We both have low drives… well, maybe. At this point what do we do?

I’m a LLF (32F) been married to LLM (35M) husband for 4 years, together 8 years. We used to have pretty great sex and often. About 3 years ago it dwindled to about 1-2 times a month. We had a conversation about it and both agreed that was fine. But now we have sex MAYBE once every 3 months. Maybe.

We have a 15 month old son. We got pregnant pretty much the 1st go and that’s the last time we had good sex. So 2 years ago. I got pregnant, he felt very weird about having sex with me while I was pregnant. Like I said, our sex life had already dwindled at that point but I was okay with 1-2 times a month. But after my pregnancy, he felt so weird having sex while I was pregnant. Which was hurtful but I couldn’t force him to have sex with me if he felt uncomfortable. After I gave birth, we’ve had sex a handful of times in the last 15 months.

I’ve been overweight our entire relationship and I actually lost weight while pregnant so I don’t think it has to do with my body. He’s a physically fit guy and always has been. He had some sleeping issues that recently got resolved.

But at this point, initiating sex physically and emotionally pains me because it feels awkward. Like this man is a stranger but not in a sex one night stand kind of way, no like a stranger.

I enjoy being around him. We can sit in the same room doing our separate hobbies and talking. We enjoy playing with our son together.

But I also feel like a majority of responsibilities for the house, baby and my own work fall directly on me.

I don’t want to have sex every 3/4 months. I want to at least have sex once a month. At this point do I just schedule it?