Need advice on a situation that I am looking at from a different perspective from 8 years ago

I (F27) Found out in 2019 that my sister (f39) stole my identity and opened multiple cards under my name. I was 20 at the time i found out and she was 32. She is my half sister (same mom) who was like a second mother to me growing up. My parents immigrated here to the U.S and she is my mom's first child from a previous marriage. Due to my moms language barrier and lack of knowing/learning, she had my sister help the family out constantly with phone calls, filling out paperwork, booking and taking everyone to our appointments, problem solving, explaining/ translating etc. My mom is portuguese but can speak english decently. I understand this wasnt fair to my sister to have to do all that and still does for my mom and maybe my younger brother too. Mom had her at 23 years old and have been super close. The family jokes she is the favorite, but i dont think its a joke anymore.

How did i find out? i was with my boyfriend at his house wanting to see if i could finance an ipad at the time. I was broke and couldnt afford to buy it outright, and figured maybe i could work on my credit. Growing up i was not taught or warned about certain things such as the sex talk, period talk (when i first got my period i genuinely thought i was bleeding out lol), and especially not any credit card talk. It also puts it into perspective that my mother doesn't know or care much about these things because 1. She's gone thru it and 2. She has my sister to do if for her. I was very codependent on my sister up until that point. Anyways, i didn't know how credit worked and just downloaded credit karma since it was advertised. Tried to create an acct and it tells me that i have an acct with the same social security number. Naive, stupid me assumed "oh well im a citizen born in the us so it would make sense we all have a credit acct with our SS numbers" girl you were so stupid!! So i try answering the security questions, find out thru the questions that there's a loan, mortgage, and credit cards.. by a miracle i was able to get a link sent to MY email and got into the acct. I do not know how but i got in and found my credit score was below 400, 3 CC open all past due and over the limit. I figured I'd report all of it for fraud, but didn't want to deal with the consequences or authorities if warranted. So naturally, i screenshot it and send it to my sister. "Im sick to my stomach-" her text started with.. i got up and started freaking out.

She admitted it was her and that she was "trying to help me" im not sure what she was trying to help with? She was a stay at home mom also. She grabbed the mail right when it arrived. She knew what she was doing. Said shed fix it and get me the money by the end of the week etc. We didnt talk for a while and she took months to get that shit corrected. Had to work on my score for years after that. Found out last year that she did the same thing to my mom - it was several years prior, my mom just kept it a secret until then. Also reminds me of how my sister cried to me about "losing" my moms 401k money when mom getting laid off. This was before i found out about anything else. Yet anytime i try to help my mom with anything, i have to go thru my sister to get the info. She has her emails, log ins to everything, and maybe even the code to my parents safe.

Its been almost 8 years. We have all lived in the same house since 2011. She's on the first floor and we are on the second. I moved out from 2021-2024; the last 2 years have been hell. She has 2 kids, my nephews, who are ipad kids, bounce balls indoors and slam doors / scream etc. They are not well behaved all the time. I watched them grow up since they were in my sisters belly. I love them like they're my baby brothers and they are the reason i didn't report my sister as a fraud. Yes they can be annoying but they're kids. I don't want to lose my relationship with them. . I do dislike their father, my brother in law, because he has his own opinions and thoughts that i can't agree with, Anger issues too so i didn't want them to be stuck with a guy like that and no motherly figure. I'm sure we would've figured it out, but i didn't want to be seen as the rat even tho she's completely at fault.

I miss my sister and my friend before i found this out. Now i can't stand to hear her, see her, or smell her. Anytime she talks about money i just want to tell her to stfu. Am i resenting her? And my mom too? I love my mother, i don't know what id do without her but shes doing it to herself also. I don't know how to feel now that I've been reflecting back on the situation 8 years later. I was so naive back then and blind. My mom and sister are the only ones in the family that know. How could my mom trust her still? How do i go about this.. I'm tired of it seeming like she's an angel when she's a fraud who smokes and drinks it away? I know that once i move out on my own (not anytime soon due to finances and school) that i wouldn't reach out unless it was for my nephews. Opinions and thoughts? I did tell a few friends a couple years ago and they think im too nice for how i handled it, but id like opinions from other who dont know me at all. Not sure if i left anything out, if i did i will edit this post.

TLDR; sister stole my identity and i found out in 2019. Revisiting the situation 8 years later and feeling like i was too naive when i handled fhe situation. She did the same to my mom and now I have lost all respect and anything I had left for her. I had been thinking about this for months now, not sure how to go about it or how to have it stop bothering my brain all day everyday. And yes we all still live in the same house for now.

Thank you!