How do you know you're on the right track and not wavering?

How do you know you're actually living in the assumption and not wavering? I check my thoughts a lot, and as far as I can tell, they aren't really opposing what I want. But I'm still here, even after affirming and trying to live in the assumption almost 24/7 for nearly two years.

I think there may be a deeper reason why I'm struggling.

Around 3–4 years ago, I was extremely immersed in assuming I was my DR self. I genuinely felt like I was getting very close to experiencing my DR. Then my cat suddenly passed away.

Ever since then, I've had this fear in the back of my mind that if I fully immerse myself in an assumption or allow myself to feel like something is already mine, something bad will happen to my family or my (now) cat.

It's almost like my mind has connected "fully assuming" with "something terrible happening in the 3D."

I've tried affirming against this and revising what happened, but I haven't really gotten any relief. My mind still comes back with thoughts like:

"No matter what you do, something bad will happen in the 3D first, and only then will you get your desire."

I know it probably sounds irrational, but it's a very persistent fear. I also find myself constantly checking my thoughts and trying to make sure I'm not thinking anything "wrong," because I'm scared that if I don't, I'll somehow cause something bad to happen.

Honestly, I'm exhausted. I don't want to spend 24/7 monitoring my thoughts just to make sure nothing bad happens. Life isn't exactly where I want it to be either, which is part of why I want to shift/manifest better circumstances.

I'm trying to remind myself that I don't have to figure everything out immediately and that maybe things will become easier with time.

There's another thing I've noticed. My mind seems to believe: "I might successfully shift/manifest through the void state, Hypnagogia, WBTB, SATS etc., but I just need to manifest that first."

So instead of actually trying the method, I end up feeling like I need to manifest the ability to do the method before I can actually do it.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

How do you personally distinguish between genuinely living in the assumption and simply becoming overly focused on whether you're wavering?

And how would you approach the fear/association that developed after my cat passed away?

I'd especially like to hear from people who have gone through with something similar.