Using the Fact that im Living with my Covert Narcissists Mom to my advantage

Im Had an experience last year that really made me take a long hard look at myself and how i show up in the world. It kinda forced me to realize that i kinda have been letting myself be a doormat to other people and forced me to realize i should put my needs first and that i deserve to be happy.

e Another thing that experience made me realize is that i have to put myself first and be honest with myself and realize that i don't love my mom in the slighest and that to be honest she's a horrible fucking parent. She is like a standard covert narc she seems sweet and caring on the outside but the moment i do anything to assert my own boundaries and personhood she becomes vile and emotionally manipulative. One of her favorite things to do is that whenever i raise a concern she will scream at me cut me off when i try to calmly express something she express that "im triggering her and that she dosen't want to talk about this" and then she'll attack my charcter or something i do without admitting the root of the issue. I think the old me would have been scared but now im asserting my boundaries simply as a way to test myself i can stay true to myself.

I think one of the most liberating things for me is realizing i don't love my mom in the slighest and that at most i hold a forced familial kinship. Frankly i 100% plan to cut her off once i move out on my own or go (super low contact).It kinda makes me super proud off myself because i follows a general trend in my life of not accepting less than what i think i deserve in any social relationship weather it be (familial freindship, or romantic). It makes me incompatible with a vast majority of people but i feel like it's going to allow me to connect more with the people i'll really be able to say is home.