35 [M4F] Anywhere or online - Come sit with me under the yew tree

Would you like to have long, deep conversations under the yew tree, with the moonlight as our only source of light? For the darkness outside brings out the darkness inside.

I’m interested in meeting a woman who actually wants connection, not just random online chatting. Someone a bit unusual and creative. Someone who knows how to stand for herself and isn't afraid to walk against the current. Someone who wants to build a bond based on mutual trust, acceptance, and appreciation. Someone I can both admire and adore. 

And I want to clarify a few things right away. By trust I mean being able to rely on one another to stay reasonably consistent, rather than dramatically changing how we relate over time. By acceptance I mean recognizing one another as the unique individuals we are, without trying to impose our beliefs or reshape each other according to some predetermined ideal. By appreciation I mean being genuinely interested in each others unique views and perspectives, which is especially noticeable in the ones that are different from our own. I mean it in a way of trying to understand where our perspectives come from before judging or labeling them. None of this means tolerating inappropriate behavior or abandoning our own boundaries.

If what I mentioned sounds too much or too intense, then we’re probably not a match. I’m not perfect and I’m not looking for someone perfect. I’m looking for someone real and unique. Preferably, but not necessarily, someone who (to borrow the words of the old mustache man) “has an inclination, born of strength, for questions that no one has the courage for; the courage for the forbidden; predestination for the labyrinth.”

I have a thing for creative people. For some reason I usually click best with creative people. I guess it’s a freedom of thought and a certain level of eccentricity that many creative people seem to share. Perhaps it’s also that rebellious, non-conformist spirit that refuses to submit to social norms and expectations. The fire of uniqueness that burns through their existence as an individual. Kynicism embodied through simple everyday living.

What I want to emphasize is that I’m looking for a woman who’d be my equal, not a copy of me or anyone else. You be yourself and I’ll be myself. If we like one another, great, we can have an amazing relationship. If we don’t like each other, also great, because we were honest and realized it on time. Just don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.

Something that is important to me is that our connection is the space where we both feel safe to express ourselves. I don’t like pushing a relationship narrative too early on, but I’d prefer that we get to know one another well before we decide we’re the right person for one another to commit to. I will hold space for you so you can express yourself and I do expect you to hold space for me.

What I like about Reddit is that unlike dating apps it’s personality first. But anyway, my point is that I want to get to know someone as a person before we move on to practicalities. And that’s what I’m looking for. I know some people prefer the other way around, looking for practicalities first, and I respect that, but it’s not how I want to begin getting to know someone. Just understand that it’s not how I function and if it’s how you function it’s completely fine, it’s just that we don’t match.

As you can see I can be pretty intense at times, but I’m also very supportive and caring in everyday life. It’s just that I think it’s better to write a self-filtering post so people who are not right for me and for whom I’m not the right person can save both their time and mine. As for the right person, we’ll have enough time to get to know each other deeply and widely.

When it comes to communication I’m open to and want both texting and voice calls, but I don’t like and don’t do voice messages. I’m also open to video calls and exchanging photos once we get to know each other well enough on a personal level.

Late evening and nights (CET time zone) work best for me and that’s the time I’ll be available. It’s evening and night in Europe and Africa, which is, roughly speaking, like morning in East Asia and afternoon in the Americas.

You could probably conclude by now that I don’t mind demographics as much as psychographics. What I care about is who you are as an individual, how much you’re actually interested in getting to know me and letting me get to know you. I care about how much you see maturity as an expression of your uniqueness as opposed to conforming to social norms and expectations. I care about how much you can stay true to yourself when the night is dark and spirits are dancing all around.

So if you’re curious and want to explore where our bond will lead us, I invite you to sit with me under this tree of crossroads and let the magic flow through us.