Wanting to diy. Some questions to parents and asking for some support

I am 20 yo, brazilian, FTM. Discovered that In my country, they are asking for one year of psychiatric evaluation alongside an endo to start hrt, and it will probably take 2 years since I am in the public system. My dysphoria is horrible, I believe that it is a miracle that I don't have depression (ok, I probably do).

My mental health only got worse and worse after trying to repress who I am since as a kid, and puberty made it horrible, but getting at adulthood and everyone seeing you as a woman when you are a man, is hell.

I saw the law that passed in the UK, about bathrooms and "biological sex". I really fear how the next years will be, especially when in the whole world there is anti trans politics. Lula probably will be elected again, but what will come after 2030? I also fear the Senate. 2/3 are conservative evangelicals (that is why now we don't have more puberty blockers and the 1 year evaluation to legal age people start hrt). I fear what will happen more in the next few years.

I want to transition and change my docs the fastest I can, so I will be able to be a normal young guy, take back my missed years and do my dream, that is working in the merchant marine.

Since there is that shit law, I will start diy until the public system calls me (which will probably happen after April of the next year). I plan to use gel, since I can buy it legally here and I don't have any risks for it to be falsificated.

My parents don't accept me, but I don't believe that they are the kind that will throw me away. I will do my best to girlmod for the longest period I can. I need T, because dysphoria is making me dysfunctional, sometimes I feel so much angst that I start crying and screaming in despair (yeah. I am probably depressed), I couldn't study or work or do almost anything right. So, I need it.

I want to get some support from the parents here (you are nice in btw!) and some trans kids too. Some advices would be pretty kind too <3

I talked to my mom before my birthday about how I felt dysphoric, I always wanted to be a boy, etc. But I don't believe she listened about, bc her answers were "I believe in the bible, my cosmovision", and things about me needing to change. But I told her that I will not bear more years without doing anything, that I will do something to be alive. So my mom will not be able to tell her that I warned her about hrt.

I need to know if your trans kids are the oldest, how their younger siblings reacted. I have a 15yo sister and a 12yo brother. They don't know about me being trans, hrt or anything, and I don't plan to tell soon.

I also need tips to how to hide my tgel (thinking about putting it at the top of my wardrobe. It is very tall and no one cleans that since forever 💀).

I also need tips to girlmod. I know that it will not work perfectly and just for a lil bit of time, but I pretend to let my hair long, wear fem clothes, do feminine voice training, shave, use makeup, etc.

What I am doing is valid/right? I am only doing that bc dysphoria and this shitty public system. When I finally be able to go in an endo, I will stop diy and use their advices. I will do a blood exam before starting diy and 3 months after starting DIY.

And if you or one of your kids, started hrt without telling anyone, or not telling to their siblings, how much time it took to the younger siblings or you notice?

Just asking for support here because it would be problematic use the word diy in internet parents or any other sub.

Thank you :D