AITAH FOR MY ACTUAL RELASHIONSHIP

Me (25F) and my boyfriend (25M) met during one of the hardest periods of our lives. I had just left a job that completely burned me out, while around the same time his parents divorced. We moved in together very early, trying to rebuild our lives from scratch.
For the first six months we barely got by, but once my income improved, I covered almost all of our expenses: rent, bills, groceries, and everything else. I did that intentionally because I wanted to give him something I never really had: time.
I encouraged him to explore hobbies, attend events, read books, learn new skills, and figure out what he actually wanted before committing to a career. He often told me he felt scared because his family was no longer really there for him, so I wanted to be that support.
After more than a year, though, I felt very little had changed. Whenever I introduced opportunities, books, events, or ideas that could help him grow, he usually lost interest quickly or approached them superficially. I also felt he wasn’t becoming more independent or taking ownership of his future or finances.
It increasingly felt like I was the one planning, researching, motivating, paying for everything, and trying to build our future together.
At the same time, another issue in our relationship was that we had become sexually incompatible. Because of several conversations we’d had over the course of the relationship, I believed we might be able to find some kind of compromise that worked for both of us.
I eventually suggested a temporary arrangement involving another man, with clear boundaries, complete honesty, and no intention of replacing our relationship or developing any emotional connection outside of it.
I also made it clear that I would continue covering our living expenses and that, from my perspective, this wasn’t about replacing him or ending what we had. I was trying to find a practical solution to one part of our relationship while keeping everything else we had built together.
At first he seemed open to discussing the idea, but later decided he wasn’t comfortable with it and wanted to end the relationship.
We’ve now been broken up for about a month but still live together, and I’m still covering all of our living expenses.
My frustration wasn’t mainly about sex or the arrangement I proposed. It was about feeling that while I was constantly working, learning, improving, and trying to build a future for us, he wasn’t putting in the same effort despite having the time and stability to do so.
Now he says he fought for us and truly loved me. But whenever I ask what “fighting for us” actually looked like, or what concrete plan he had for building a future together, he doesn’t really have an answer.
It always felt like he expected me to keep leading, planning, and creating opportunities while he decided afterward which parts he wanted to participate in.
At the same time, I completely understand that my proposal crossed an important boundary for him. He had every right to refuse it, and I don’t blame him for deciding that it was something he couldn’t accept in a relationship.
What I’m struggling with is whether the proposal itself makes me the asshole, despite everything else that had been happening between us.
AITAH?