How do I Learn to Trust Myself Again.

I have read the FAQ.

Also second post in a row, I apologize.

This is something that happened yesterday and it's something I haven't been able to completely move on from. I was walking through the courtyard of the place I was staying at during the night when a bat flew a little over an arm's length in front of me. I couldn't tell where the bat came from but it felt like it either came behind me and went around me or it came from the right and flew in front of me.

Point is, the bat kind of just passed me and I didn't think much of it. Until of course I started to think much about it. Generally speaking, I get anxious when I walk outside in the dark so I tend to be hyper aware of my environment (for other unrelated reasons), I'd definitely remember if a hamster with wings collided into me. But I got so anxious to the point where I'm now doubting my own memory, I don't know what's real and what isn't.

I'm in Indonesia right now, and although the country isn't rabies free, I was in one of the few provinces that was considered rabies free (East Java), it's been free since 1996. And in Indonesia, the overwhelming majority of cases come from dogs, with cats and apes taking up the minority, with bats taking a smaller minority (I think, honestly hard to find information about bat statistics here.)

And yet, knowing all of this I still struggle to just accept it. Now I'm currently in Bali, where the issue of rabies is still there in the island and I'm just perceiving everything around me as a threat. Every stray dog, every bat flying at night, the occasional monkey I see, it all just makes be a bit panicky and it's so incredibly draining.

This has sucked the joy out of me and I'm so exhausted. Maybe the bat just flew around me, so it wasn't an exposure (most likely) but what if I forgot it hit me. I'm beginning to have trouble discerning reality and it's alarming.

Does anyone have any advice for me? And thanks for taking the time to read.