Wedding friend invite drama

I (23f) was not invited to any wedding festivities for my friend M (23f) besides her wedding. Am I wrong for being upset?

for some context my husband and I got married in June of this year. We both come from big catholic families (7 kids each). being a middle child I wanted all siblings in the wedding party. we did no in-laws. because of this we had huge wedding parties. both of our families are very boy heavy so when it was all said and done by husband had 12 groomsmen (9 brothers 3 friends)

this is where M comes in. we’d been best friends growing up. the type they make movies out of. constantly hanging out and calling each other on the phone. once we hit high school our interests differed. we were still really good friends but just not best friends. we both went off to college. still call and hang out over the years. when it came time I asked her to be in my wedding party as a bridesmaid. I was definitely closer to some of the other girls that i asked but this wouldnt have been a shock to anyone that I asked her. especially since i had 10 bridesmaid (3 sisters, 7 friends) M showed up to everything and was super supportive during the whole process.

Now here’s where i am questioning things. M is getting married in a few months. I am not one of her bridesmaids which I knew I wouldn’t be. she also comes from a big Catholic family with lots of sisters. she also has lots of friends (whom I know and I’m comfortable around). So I knew I wouldn’t be in her wedding party which is totally and completely understandable.

The reason why I am upset is she has already had her bachelorette and bridal shower and I was not invited. i just feel so disappointed that I was excluded from such big events for her that she came for me. obviously it’s her wedding celebration and having just gone through it, I completely understand what she’s going through. it just still hurts that for me i thought our relationship was one where we would both show up for each other during this crazy time of life.

I’ve very much given her lots of advice and help wedding planning. gave her all my spreadsheets and phone numbers for local vendors that she might be interested in because I know I was lost without this information. I check in with her time to time to see how things are going and to see if there’s anything she might need help with. I did all that not because I was looking for an invite to anything but because I genuinely believe that’s what you should do for your friends.

overall I’m just hurt by the situation and just don’t know how to express to her how I feel. for now I’m just going to stay silent as i truly don’t want to stress her out before her wedding. I plan to go to her wedding with my husband and have a good time. from there Im not sure where me and M’s relationship will go, but lets just say I won’t be the one to reach out to hang out first.

so is it wrong for me to be upset about not being invited?