Anger vs crying in romantic relationship

Forgive me for my formatting and spelling, as English is not my first language.
My boyfriend (30M) and I (28F) have been together for several years now. We seem to disagree on the concept of crying and anger in a relationship. He believes they come from the same place, which I do agree to an extent, but I think the circumstances around them matter too. I’m looking to hear perspective from people on their experiences with crying vs anger.

He sees crying as a weakness, and I used to not be much of a crier but I cry all the time now. I have heard that getting into a healthy relationship can be like that sometimes haha. But I understand both anger and crying are not appropriate in extremes. Emotions should be regulated, but not ignored entirely.

But the circumstances I believe are different for my crying and his anger. He gets really frustrated with me over traits I have like my forgetfulness—if I lose something or forget something, he sees it as an indicator that I can’t be responsible in a relationship. He has also called me childish, naive, stupid, and crazy throughout the relationship. He originally said I was too sensitive but later he said he would stop saying those things. He kind of has, but still says I’m stupid indirectly instead of directly. He will question my intelligence, and even though I am a scientist (he is also a scientist), he feels like he cannot have an intellectual conversation with me. I’ve never had this problem in my entire life with anyone so it is quite confusing for me. But I understand his frustration with my forgetfulness—things wear on a person over time, and I understand some habits being bothersome. These are the things that anger him mostly, I do not use harsh words with him or shame him, I work hard to be very supporting, but I’ve slipped up at times, being human. I always apologize with sincerity and accountability and I do everything I can to keep my promises.
However, although I have gotten better about suppressing my tears with time, he says things sometimes that are hurtful and I cry. I’ve started saying “That is a disrespectful thing to say and I don’t accept being spoken to like that”, which took years for me to finally have the ability to do. I used to just shut down and cry and take it, and agree with him. Part of me still agrees. I really try not to cry but when I constantly feel put down and stupid around him, it just happens. I’ve started to question if I’m just crazy (I do have mental health struggles so I am not unfamiliar with the idea that my emotions may not be appropriate all the time).
And he gets very annoyed when I cry about anything related to him. I can cry about anything else, I’ve observed, and he will comfort me. But if it’s about something he did, he just gets annoyed and says I’m overreacting, and that my crying isn’t proportional to the situation. He says I’m too sensitive and looks at me with tremendous bewilderment and annoyance whenever I cry. He doesn’t comfort me in these situations, only becomes cold. I’ve reflected heavily and done the work to not be so emotional and to be more logical. I’ve gotten a lot better and he agrees.
I guess I just feel like crying as a reaction to pain from something someone says and anger over frustration for something someone does as a habit may not necessarily be the same, but I’m curious to hear experiences of people who may have encountered similar situation. I desperately want to learn and be better even if it takes growing pains. Thank you!

TLDR: Trying to better understand the difference between anger and crying at a fundamental level when communicating with a romantic partner.