Review of Leisure Time Newbie Night.

I know there’s already someone who posted their review of their first time at Leisure Time in Hartford CT so I figure I’ll put my two cents in as well.

Here’s my tl;dr - - This place is awesome. The people are welcoming, we felt safe throughout the time there, the vibe was better than I had hoped. We will be back.

We are not inexperienced when it comes to lifestyle clubs, but it had been a while. The majority of our experience has been at The Society prior to Covid. We were regulars there. All of our experiences at clubs or the possibility of going to clubs and other locations has been, and will be filtered through our experiences at The Society. They had classes on consent and what is not convent, so you, readers, know that’s sort of the level that we were looking at for anything that we do. The big thing is society didn’t allow for actual sex, just BDSM play and some teasing, nudity allowed, but again no actual sex.

We’ve been to The Art many times although again it has been a while and that’s been fun for us, but we found ourselves somewhat disappointed for two main reasons. One is how dark it is, you cant really see other folks other than shadows and when you’re in the balcony, you can look down to the spotlighted area, but that’s about it, visibility is too low for us, we are primarily voyeurs with exhibitionary tendencies when the situation feels right. The other reason is the chairs are a little uncomfortable and close together. It makes sex limited. The Art will always be an option but we were looking for different/more.

I spent most of the summer, when the idea sex outside of the house/hotel came up, looking for places. We also considered going to clubs thinking that we’d have to go to New York, based on my wife’s conversations with one of her clients. And so I researched local places and settled on Leisure Time. I did my due diligence checked out their website been reading absolutely everything on Reddit, Fetlife, and searching for reviews on lifestyle boards, any scrap information that I could find. I even sent an email to leisure time, Kevin responded within 24 hours of my email. His response was well thought out and comprehensive and definitely put me at ease, which helped put my wife at ease.

Preparations to go began, I obsessed over the details of the venue, doing daytime drive-bys, dress code, rules, etc. We selected and purchased a collar and leash. She shopped for a dress and lingerie that she felt good wearing.

A note on the collar and leash: when we first talked about the idea of going to an NYC club, she wanted a collar and leash as a form of personal protection. It is taught in BDSM circles that a person who is collared and leashed is not to be approached directly. Protocol requires you approach and engage with the person holding the leash first, then get permission. The leash was to ensure she felt safe and I would handle any interaction.

My wife, in spite of all of our preparations remained nervous. We had tried a different club, I cannot recall the name, a few years ago and she did not feel comfortable at all, was approached by single men who didn’t get the hint. We left early, went to the Art instead, as it was on our way home. That night was rough and definitely soured our feelings towards ls clubs for some time. She was drawing on those feelings of anxiety as we got ready to go to Leisure Time. I reminded her that she was in control, the rules and standards of conduct were all in women’s favor. There will be no single men who won’t take a hint or be overly aggressive. I flat out told her we would leave as soon as she wanted, no questions asked, no blame, no need to feel guilty, even if we left after 30 minutes, her feelings of safety come first. She also reassured both herself, and me, that a club which has been operating for nearly 50 years must be doing something right.

We arrived before 9p. Parking is rough. One of two things that I would count “against” the club. Nothing the owners can do about it, props for having attendants but I still have to contend with street parking. 8:45 was busier with traffic than i anticipated but we managed to get a spot close to the building.

Since it was our first time we waited in the car for a bit. We did not see anyone lingering outside and were even questioning if it was open. I thought we were too early. Anyway a few minutes later (which seemed much, much longer) we saw a couple who were clearly going to the same place we were (yay for high heeled platform boots on the woman and tote bag carried by her male companion.

We approached the entrance and were questioning which door to use (hint the door buzzer is a giveaway) we were met by a patron who knew what to do (press the buzzer, it’s not that complicated) and were let in. We met Kevin, owner/operator at the door. He is open, welcoming, and chill. He definitely understands the nervousness new folks have and he put me right at ease.

After the intro we went to the bar to drop off our drinks and spent time looking at the pictures and artwork on the walls until it was time for the tour. Carrie (sp?) the owner with Kevin, walked us and two there couples around. I’m not going to describe every detail here except to say we are looking forward to seeing the finished product on the upper floor. There is a tantric chair in the lower floor I do want to try in the future, we considered getting one ourselves but cost and available space put that idea to rest, for now.

After the tour we found space on a couch on the main floor to check in with each other and primarily to people watch.

We saw Carrie give the tour a few times. She even checked in with us, and I suspect all of the first timers, to be sure we were enjoying ourselves. We were at that. My wife and I like people watching and have a fascination seeing others in social interactions. We witnessed a number of small groups form and what we referred to as “situations” develop amongst the groups. It was a lot of fun to witness.

My wife got her second drink and we made for the dance floor. That is where was had the most fun all night. For anyone thinking of going to Leisure Time, you can dance without any reservation, I could grind and touch my wife in this mass of people, music pumping, without fear of someone telling us we were going too far. It was so emotionally freeing to have that actual freedom to do that. We both felt safe and were able to get aroused in our way. While I kept the leash in my pocket I and she, never felt the need for me to use it, the visual boundary was not needed.

Eventually the dance floor thinned out as people headed elsewhere, mostly downstairs. We took a brief break on one of the couches and she started getting frisky so, we left the main floor for the lower level play area after getting towels and our bag from the bar.

We packed in our messenger bag a tote for our clothing, lube, wipes, a pad, and a couple toys for potential use.

We disrobed in the changing area and found a place to do more people watching. The play area at the time was standing room only.

My wife’s arousal definitely waned at this point. It was crowded and she was not comfortable playing with even the possibility of incidental touching. Even at home, an errant bottle of lube, discarded toy, or even an un anted blanket encroaching/unwanted touching her body will bring her to distraction and aggressive frustration. While I and everyone reading knows “No means no” she said having to say no would take her out of the moment. She later said along with the touching thing she was also a bit self conscious because she gets LOUD and it seemed like most folks were quiet, she didn’t want people to crowd around trying to contribute to her “moment.” People mean well but it would end well for her. I supported her and we continued to watch couples engaged in parallel play and some group interaction in the center of the bed.

After a time we got dressed went back up stairs to check in with each other again. Interestingly, she started feeling aroused again and I played with her a bit on the main floor but we were not willing to have sex at Leisure Time then. Instead we bade our good-byes to Carrie and Kevin. I was shocked to learn we left at 1:00a. The time flew and for two people who generally go to bed when the club opens it was sort of mind boggling.

Even though we did not play on the Leisure Time premises, we ended up playing at home and having one of the best nights out and one of the best nights in bed in months (definitely one for the scrapbook).

A few things of note:
Will we be back? Yes, we are already planning our next time.
In regard to parking, show up early and have patience in finding space. The neighborhood didn’t seem that rough to me, but everyone’s viewpoint is different.
I wish there were more semi-private areas to play, hopefully the upper level will accommodate once completed (soon, per the owners).
Wish #2, the seating area was under the tv monitor looks like a great place to be but the speakers for the music push the sound right to that area and it is too loud, which is a real pity. I wish the speaker layout was redesigned so the music wasn’t so intense in that corner.

I think going back again we, she in particular will not be as adverse to me incidental touching which will open up a lot more areas and experiences for us.

***I do have a question for the users: is play expressly prohibited on the main floor or is it more of social contract to keep play in play areas, so people who only want to socialize have a place to do so.
I’m not going to lie if I could, I would have played with my wife either right on the dance floor or on one of the couches between the dance floor and the bar. It was in those spaces she was the most aroused and I do accommodate her as much as practicable.

Another question or query: the idea of looking for areas for sexual play outside of the house comes from a desire to engage outdoors. We are specifically looking for private, secluded, wooded, safe, for outdoor play. We are not interested treated in rest stop/parking lot , or other high risk locations. We want to stay private and legal. DM me if you know of places that meet what we are looking for.

One final thing: I am grateful to Kevin, Carrie, and all the staff for maintaining a safe, clean, fun, well run place for folks like all of us to be free to explore and experience sexuality.