Posting Abt my first ever life Crush.

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It was my first day of college.

I remember seeing her for the first time. She was attractive, and I noticed her, but I didn't think much of it. At that point, I was engrossed in a hundred other things—figuring out college, meeting people, and simply trying to find my place in a new environment.

The first year passed quietly.

Coming from a Tier-2 college, there weren't always a hundred things happening around us, so college life gradually became a familiar routine. Somewhere along the way, I realised that her roll number was just five numbers away from mine. That small thing meant that we kept ending up in the same groups—for presentations, PPTs, projects and everything in between.

I still remember the first time she called me.

I was at home when my phone rang. It was her.

She asked me if I could make the group's PPT because she didn't have a laptop at home. It was such a simple conversation. Nothing romantic, nothing extraordinary. Just a girl from my class asking for some help.

But I remember it.

Then came our second year.

We were put together for a group project that required field visits. That particular day, we spent almost six or seven hours together. We weren't alone—her best friend was with us, and we were still part of a group—but for the first time, we actually talked. Properly.

We exchanged thoughts, stories and little pieces of ourselves.

And somewhere during those six or seven hours, something changed for me.

I realised I had fallen for her.

Maybe it was her attitude. Maybe it was the sophistication with which she carried herself. Maybe it was the way she spoke, her smile, or simply the way she was. I don't know exactly what it was.

The truth is, I had been attracted to her since the first year. But I had always dismissed it as something normal—just finding someone attractive.

This time, it felt different.

After that, though, we remained quite formal with each other. There was no unnecessary *bakwas*. Most of our conversations were about work, academics, projects or something we needed to get done.

We were also preparing for the same competitive examination, and at one point she needed some specific resources. I happened to have the courses and tests she was looking for, so I shared them with her. It wasn't anything extraordinary, but somehow even these small interactions became memorable to me.

The strange part is that I never told her.

And maybe there is a simple reason for that.

I'm an introvert by nature. I keep a lot of things to myself. There are things I feel deeply but never say out loud. I think about them, replay them in my head and sometimes carry them silently for a very long time.

And that's exactly what happened with her.

She became a part of my thoughts.

Sometimes, she is in my dreams. Sometimes, I find myself thinking about her in the middle of completely unrelated things. There are moments when she is simply there in my mind, even when she isn't physically around.

But I still haven't said anything.

Not because I don't want to.

I just don't think this is the right time.

We are both at a very crucial point in our lives. We have careers to build, futures to figure out and lives to establish. There is so much ahead of both of us, and right now, I feel that perhaps we need to focus on becoming the people we want to become.

So I chose to keep my feelings to myself.

Until college was over.

After graduating, there was some final documentation I had to complete from college. The process was tedious, and one day she texted me asking whether I had managed to get my documents done.

I hadn't.

She told me that she was planning to go to the college that week, she told if not ill go on monday, the same day I was planning to.

But I couldn't make it to the city that week. I told her that I wouldn't be able to come and that I would probably go the following Monday.

She simply said, "Fine."

And somehow, that little conversation led to one of the most memorable days I've had with her.

On Monday, we both went.

We spent almost eight hours together.

We talked. A lot.

We went for lunch. We spoke about things beyond academics and projects. There was no presentation to prepare, no assignment to finish and no group project hanging over us.

For once, we were simply two people talking.

And honestly, it was incredibly fulfilling.

Even after all those hours, I still didn't confess.

Maybe someday I will.

If life gives me the opportunity, and if the time feels right, I will tell her everything I've kept inside for all these years.

But if someday I find out that she is already committed to someone, I won't resent her. I won't wish things had been different.

I'll simply wish that she gets everything she wants.

All the happiness she deserves. All the success she dreams of. All the love and peace life can give her.

Because regardless of what happens, I will always admire her.

Not just as the girl I fell in love with, but as a person and as a great friend.

Maybe our story will continue.

Maybe it won't.

Maybe someday I'll finally tell her how I feel.

Or maybe these feelings will remain a beautiful little secret that I carried through my college years.

I don't know.

But I know that meeting her, knowing her, talking to her and having her as a part of my life has been a beautiful experience.

And if nothing else, I'm grateful that my first love was someone I could genuinely admire.

So, wherever life takes you, I hope you always keep smiling.

I hope you achieve everything you've ever wanted.

And I hope you're always happy. Maybe this msg will never see this , or ill never get to you or you'll get someone better to keep you happy.

Definitely my name has her dob

I really love you, An ❤️ really

Be happy. Always.