I never know how seriously to take plans and feel like I always make the wrong choice/end up being the one who made things weird.

This is a dynamic I feel like I've experienced since childhood, and one that I think has led me to prefer isolating myself rather than trying to "put myself out there." Somehow, though, I've managed to enter into romantic relationships, and this has happened quite a bit with my boyfriend.

We had plans yesterday to see a free concert. We'd been unsure for a while for various reasons, but he really likes this artist. We discussed weekend plans on Thursday or Friday, which in my mind is when he finalized that he would like to try attending and wanted me there too. We even discussed roughly what time he wanted to get there because I was trying to coordinate some other things too. I remember him saying he wanted to get there around 4 or 5, so from the time I woke up I'm operating on that timeline. I was actually making progress cleaning my house for once and was wishing I didn't have to stop and get ready, but I did so I wouldn't hold us up and just tried to convince myself it would be a fun night.

He texted asking how my day was going so I told him I got a ton of dishes done and had just gotten out of the shower, around 3pm. I was actually feeling bad like I waited too long and rushed to get ready. I was really worried about coming across like I wasn't taking our plans seriously enough by just continuing my housework and waiting for him to initiate talking about it before I got ready. But it turns out that's exactly what he did to me.

After showering, I was struggling with not knowing what was next. My mom advised that I should be direct and ask him what time he wants to meet up. This is after I told him I noticed a storm might roll through during the concert, so trying to discuss what we're doing, and he just said "I see that." By the time I dried my hair and found something that I wouldn't regret wearing, he called to tell me he was finishing up his yard work and would still need to do a few things before showering. He didn't think we would make the concert but I "could come over and then we'll see." This is after I had been wishing all day that I could do my yard work rather than worry about getting clean and cute. I didn't even want to go to the event, but then I couldn't get over the change in plans and how much I arranged my weekend around *this* being the plan. Meanwhile I think he's like, "What's the difference if you come here or we go out?"

I think once he noticed I was caught off guard, he tried to downplay it as if the plans were never made and I was the weird one for being ready to go. Felt a familiar sting. I did bring dinner to his house and there he told me he completely forgot about the event for most of the day. Yet if I had done the same and just kept going on my chores, he would be upset. If I had taken on the role of making sure he's aware of the time as I often feel the need to do so plans actually happen, suddenly the narrative would shift like I'm the one who wants to go and he's doing it for me. In general I've been feeling like I'm not a priority to him and like he DARVOs me when I try to discuss that so this adds to my confusion.