Please help.

Im having severe problems falling back into lust and masturbation. I've been attracted to crossdressing and feminization for as long as I can remember and now that I'm finally in a stage of life I feel like I can get past it for good the feelings hit harder than ever. I asked forgiveness multiple times last night and I know it's wrong and I want to grow in Christ. But this is constantly and steadily beating me down to the point I almost want to give in.