I just made my parents hate me

Please mods keep this up...I have no one to talk to about this at the moment, and also kinda need advice...

During dinner my parents talked about how they want to go on vacation again, and my mom looked at hotels. And found some place...But my stupid autistic head (not meant to look for excuses) was like "what if you leave me here to safe money?". I didn't think this through, and when my mom was actually looking for places for two, I didn't knew if it was serious or not. I didn't get an answer and said "I thought I either get a 'yes, I mean it' or 'No, we wouldn't go without you'". The second response is what she always said, even for single day trips.

And my dad kept repeating my movements and it somehow escalated into both getting extremely mad, called me "ungrateful", "useless", and "You pick where to go, you pick what to eat...you are ungrateful". I only suggest dinner that I make for them, I only suggested one single trip.

Now both hate me, my mom said to my dad that I will never be able to make up for it, ans she doesn't want to see me for some time....I'm now in my room, sitting on my floor because I don't want to sit on a chair or my bed, because that would look like I'm ungrateful..I don't got water or my medications, which wouldn't be a problem, but I don't know how long I have to avoid them. I also can't go to the bathroom, without walking past them, which I don't want to do.

I struggle with low self esteem, self worth, and confidence...I have autism (not tested, but multiple autistic friends sais that I have it, and I show multiple autistic traits) but they don't know because they wouldn't believe it. I just have so many bad thoughts about myself in my mind, and hate myself so much. Why can't I just know what NOT to say? Why do I always mess up...

I don't know when I can apologize, but I don't know what to say...If I explain it, that I didn't mean it like that but than just couldn't catch if they were talking for real oe joking...they would get more mad