I hate when people imply I’m not enough

Title, basically.

I think one of my biggest triggers is people acting like I’m stupid, lazy, inferior, etc.

I’ve got a lot of comorbid conditions, and I’m extremely burnt out from working over the summer and going to school at the same time. My job requires constant masking and is very mentally demanding.

Today I have the opportunity to be off, but I made the mistake of telling my mom I could go in for 2 or so hours since they offered. I give her half my paycheck to help with bills and rent (we’re low income), so of course she encouraged me to go in. And when I tried to say I’d like to rest she said “Well you need to do something, because I have to do stuff I don’t want to do today either”.

It just makes me feel like I’m not enough. All my work isn’t enough. Nobody takes me seriously because I stopped cutting myself, so they don’t see upsetting me as any “real threat”. It makes me want to relapse so bad just to prove that I’m struggling. But then that comes with its own issues too.

I know life isn’t fair. But I guess I would just like a little fucking gentleness when I confide in people that I’m not doing well and my job makes me hate my life.