So there is this trend in dating that to attract people you should stop chasing...

So there is this trend in dating that to attract people you should stop chasing... Define chasing though? Because chasing is the compulsive pursuit of a person that is unavailable, but it's often confused with showing interest and making the first move.

So basically, this whole idea of stop chasing to attract people splits the dating pool in two different camps: the competitors (the 'chasers') and the rewards (the 'runners': they run the whole game).

To catch a runner you must be okay with them dating other people until they make their final decision about who they want to commit to. Now, here's the hard truth most chasers don't know is that runners fear commitment and pour more effort into appearing as detached and polishing their public image than building meaningful connections.

They often use social media to bait potential romantic interests. They are too scared to reach out and send a text, so instead they post ambiguous photos (the kind of photos that leaves you wondering who they are with because they have told you explicitly that they are talking to other people romantically speaking) and videos singing to 'I Kissed A Girl' in a club to make their chasers react (those who get jealous and express it win!). This is called baiting, and it's a manipulation technique. How is that even considered attractive?

The way I see it, it's a massive red flag. No one should have to minimize their own emotional needs to be 'chosen' . The right person would choose you without hesitation. No competition. No mind games.