I can't stand myself

I genuinely cannot stand myself at all, I sometimes feel beautiful and confident in the mirror but then I see pictures of me, and I feel absolutely disgusted and then other time I look in the mirror and feel disgusted . I'm so scared I will never find someone who will wanna stay with me because of how I look, I have a man that I love with all of my heart and he loves me he FaceTime me always calls me beautiful but i never really show him photos of me or that I took because I just feel so ugly and im so scared I'll lose him because of this, people tell me all of the time i have no reason to be insecure , that i look like a model, etc. but i feel like I look so off and just so fucking weird and I hate it so much. I just wanna be beautiful