Elope to avoid inviting bad people (immediate family) Trigger warning

My partner (34m) and I (33f) have recently stated talking about marriage, and I'm really torn with how to do it.

For context, I never thought I'd want to get married thanks to having no trust in men as I was SA by my dad as toddler and again by one of my brothers as a teenager. Very recently, I made the abuse known to my mum, but she's brushed it under the rug and "can't believe the incident(s) with my brother" (but doesn't dispute the incident with my dad). My family unit remains intact and like nothing ever happened. Despite this, I love her dearly and couldn't imagine not having her at my wedding if I were to do a traditional one with guests. My dad and my brother are another matter - I can't imagine myself not feeling triggered if they were included. But my brothers kids would be devastated not to be there too.

My partner has said he's happy not to invite them (my mum Dad brother) and just invite my other two brothers and spouses, and his side of the family (mum, Dad, 3 sisters + spouses and kids) along with friends, extended family etc OR elope... but with some people, which I assume will include his immediate family anyway. He's so supportive and says it's my choice.

I'm gutted to think I won't have my family present in the full capacity whichever direction we go in, and I guess I'm just trying to come to terms with that the family I want isn't the family I have.

Anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice would be greatly appreciated.