How discreet is it actually?

I was diagnosed with OSDD-1B while in college. My symptoms seemed overwhelming then and I was constantly tracking switches and managing communication between parts.

Since graduating and working full time for the last few years, it's like it's all vanished.

I'm so worried it was all fake. That I was playing it up for attention because I had the free time to do so in college. Now that my life is mostly cycles of sleep and work I'm not noticing parts. Occassionally I recognize dissociation, but everything feels like massive mood swings more so than seperate parts.

My days are blurs. I'm here and watching but not an active participate of it, yknow. I'm worried I was misdiagnosed and this is just derealization/depersonalization and NOT OSDD.

I guess I'm just wondering if it's meant to look like this, though. Everyone says these disorders are discreet. The point is you don't notice them. Am I just too much in survival-mode now to recognize switches? Or were we wrong in the past and the alters I'd mapped and the communication I worked on was all in my head.

Is it wrong to say I miss my alters too? We didn't get along great. And I was a shitty host most of the time. But I liked having others to rely on. Living with the knowledge that the bullshit that happened to me in the past isn't only mine to hold.

This turned into more of a ramble than I expected, but it's nice to get it out of my head haha

Perspectives and experiences more than welcome.

Thank you all <3