My trouble with women

Just wanna write about my love life for a sec , as these women tend to be on my mind most of the time. Probably shouldn't write this here but whatever .

A plus side of being sober is that I do remember these moments clearly. I do remember their smile and eye contact they gave me ,I could see their kind soul.even the way they felt when I touched them. I am grateful for those moments.Even if I didn't get as far as finding out their name .

So I keep on fumbling women , it's incredible. Maybe there is better advectives for this .

It has gotten to the point we're it has become comical. Like I dance with them , they like me the vibe is there , it just doesn't ever get any further than that..

I don't exactly think of myself as a hot guy , maybe a 6,7/10 on a good day. But I do know that my (6,2) height , haircut & my beard play a big factor in my attractiveness, only saying this because Everytime I get a hair cut I get compliments & these situations tend to occur. But

I do know I couldn't hold a long conversation with women to save my life , so personality wise I'm sure there is a lot to improve on.

So tonight I was just at a dairy , admittedly I went in to buy something because I thought the cashier was cute . But when I was interacting with her I could tell she liked me surprisingly , it was that uncontrollable happy smile and body language that made me notice . I dont think it was just ur usual good customer service smile . I should have held a conversation , asked for her @ , godamn I should have , know I'll be thinking bout her for a few days . Will have to go back again.

There are MANY more times like this .

I goto concerts alone but almost every time I go I attempt to interact with women .. I fumble. I even get some of their Instagrams but I'm soo damn nervous to even message them at all , no msg conversation even occurs 🤦🏾. Like I know they like me , I just lack the ability to conversate . Obviously you just gotta treat women as normal people .. becasue that's what they are . but I am soo attracted to them that I create the mentality that they are of higher being & that everything said has to be perfect and impressive . To the point were it becomes fear.

One time a lovely women even came up to me and started chatting me up , she said she did so because she knew I was on the spectrum as she is too , I might be , just undiagnosed.

Anyway the main reason for all this is to write about one night a month ago at a drum and bass show . My personal record of fumbles in one night , 5 from memory .

I was dancing with one lady , she was smiling giving the vibe that she liked me , did the thing were she faces towards her friend and her friend let's her know if I am attractive enough , she nodded (that's a first haha they usually shake their head) .

(If ur still reading can somebody let me know if this is a thing , or just something I've made up , as it definitely has happened to me multiple times. ) I pretty much didn't start a convo at all , big L. After that there was a woman with large breasts playing with them and was flirting with me , put a sticker on me grinding a little. That was great but she was with a guy who was probably her boyfriend. But I then turn around and there is a very attractive woman who gave me intense I wanna fuck you look . I wanted to start talking with her but I was still with the big breasted woman so I got really nervous and awkward , it must have given the sign I wasn't interested In either of them causing a double kill fumble. Truly a steak to juicy , lobster too buttery situation.

Then towards the end of the night a woman talked with me briefly , she even said flat out that I am cute and attractive . I didn't know what to say , didn't even say thankyou wtf 🤦🏾 , It couldn't be any more obvious than that .

And as for some of my workmates , a few of them definitely find me attractive , just don't really think I should dip my pen in the company's ink.

So on the positive side at least I know there are women who do like me , I just gotta find that confidence to make anything of it . I just don't really know how .

TLDR:Reasonably ok looking guy goes out to shoot his shot only for the gun to backfire and fumble to the ground.