I can not believe my family

Me 36 F have been through the ringer, I don't know if I am being entitled, I don't know if this was fair, but I am so hurt and have no one to talk to. All I apologize it going to be long.

Back in 2021 my grandmother fell ill with COVID and because of this she no longer got get up. My grandfather being 90 years old couldn't care for her. So my dad asked me, I had to quit my job (I was already quitting because my sitter fell through and couldn't find other child care we could afford.) I went cleaned their house, did their laundry, cooked, cleaned up after that, bathed her, changed her, helped her have BM (ifykyk) and took awesome care of her. We would chat and it was good.

After a massive blizzard we couldn't get to them for days. I couldn't spend the night because I had a young family of my own and my dad just refused. My poor grandfather had to do it and ended up accidentally pulling her off the bed. she spent 3 days on the floor because no one could get to her. after that we all had a meeting, and everyone thought they should move in with my parents. I'm going to add I did this EVERYDAY I was drive 20 mins there and back 2-3 times a day. I was getting burnt out.

After they moved into my parents home my dad took my grandfathers savings and split it amongst the brothers my grandfather having over 30k per son saved. they then sold his cars he had and split the money (while they both were still alive) then discussion over the house. I made a joke how i loved this house and it should go to me. It was laughed off and then they asked if we wanted to rent it while my grandparents were alive. Then we could buy it for 175,000 I discussed it with my husband who was hesitant and seeing it know I realize why.

we moved in I should my kids all the secrets of the house the best hiding spots for hide and seek. I laughed at the rock garden my grandpa had and just told funny stories about my childhood and this house. I grew up there and I treasured every moment..I continued helping my grandmother her mind started to go and she got very aggressive with me. There were days I left in tears of how she treated me, my mom could see me get burnt out so they hired 2 other gals from church.

I never got a vacation I was always on and it became frustrating even when I took a girls trip with my mom and daughters my phone kept blowing up. There was no rest no understanding nothing. My dad needed it he needed it now. the following winter my dad and I got in a huge fight because when walking out of his house I threw away a brief slipped on the ice and hit my head really hard. my brother was out there and ran over he told me he heard the hit and told me to go in. Sure enough I had a bad concussion the doctor told me to take it easy the next few days I told my dad and he yelled at me for not being able to come in and help... even though the doctor say a few I only took that night off.

Things just got worse and worse from there I was badly my dad hired hospice for my grandmother and he threw me to the side like trash. After my grandmother passed we had a discussion about the house my uncle and dad then changed their minds that it would be 180,000. My heart sank a bit and they gaslit me said not it was always that much. After my grandma passed my grandfather declined a little. He needed help showering and i made him breakfast every morning. I loved bonding with him he would tell me stories and I loved him so much. I was take him out for adventures and lunch. He was around for little over a year, and I sat by his bedside when he passed away. I love them so much and cared for them with so much love. I later found out I got nothing. my brothers and cousins got heirlooms and I was left with empty hands. the bears that were promised taken my grandmothers special collection taken. The house was my inheritance I had to purchase.

my husband lost his job and being beyond stressed my uncle being ever so kind helped saying we could take our time.. then the conversation of the house price went up to 200,000... I kept thinking am I going insane they said 175,000 first. and please note before my husband lost his job we were paying 1500 a month we lived there for 3 years. After that we had a conversation and my uncle dropped it to 1000.

in August last year my uncle and father informed us it's time in January.. we had saved money but not enough and we were denied the loan. My husband broken told me it wasn't happening and in October I told my parents we could afford it. my dad said ok at the end of January you need to be out. I then found out my brother is purchasing the house. All my hard work they benefited from.

luckily we found a very small trailer my kids are broken I'm broken my husband is "excited" not being under my dad's thumb.. it's temporary he says but something tells me he's lying to me. but I'm sitting here writing this and wonder how do I get passed this my depression is darkening my days. my angry at everyone my dad uncle husband brother I give so much and I'm just used and thrown.. I didn't sleep at all crying softly alone my cat anxious and "crying" my daughter crying I just want to give up because this is my life.. family of 6, 2 cats and 1 dog in a 2 bedroom trailer where the kids have the rooms and my husband sleep in the living room. I hate it.. but am I being entitled ungrateful?

Update 1/28 day later,

Let me begin to thank you all! I feel souch better knowing I'm not going crazy! Today was AWFUL we swept through, making sure we had everything and cleaned what we needed the pain in my heart grew more and more. This is where we settled my daughters grew their personalities and the closeness we have. I will start off I am the luckiest mom ever if I didn't have my girls having my back I wouldn't have been able to get through this. My son who helped with hugs and I love you's. But today will go down and a loss. As I saw each room empty the words of my grandfather kept coming to me "If anyone deserves my house it's you." Tears rolled not my cheeks thinking that greed took this from me selfishness.

Last night my brother purchasing my house came over him and his wife almost gloating in there smugness, I sat there wondering why I was sent to them. Why in my family being the only daughter made me the black sheep. Not the princess not spoiled. I was quiet and I shut down his face twisted with annoyance that we were still working... I lived there for 3 years this wasnt our choice even though others said it was. How could it have been our choice when no matter it was being sold by January. Doing the math with rent we paid it was over 25000 it made me sick there was no deal. They sucked us dry.and decided it wasn't enough.

They trash talked me saying we were ALWAYS LATE on rent but in my lease it stated we had until the 10th of each month we have 1.maybe 2 months it went passed by a day or two and yes that's on me. My dad called us bad tenants because there were "rules" I guess we broke when we had a tornado near us we brought our dogs downstairs which was a no no 😒.. i never had a rental that the landlord dictated where animals could go.

I'm not good enough, i will never be enough for them. My mother offered to do my laundry I declined they know now I'm distancing myself they feel it and now the love bombing is starting. I couldn't fit a few precious things in my storage unit my dad seeing my stressed told my brother to store it at his storage unit until we get a bigger one. He rolled his eyes, this man was my best friend we were so close and since he married this woman he has been a real asshole. This was the brother I could count on. But these last few months his entitlement is showing. Technically we have until.the 31st to be out he said nothing to me when he walked into MY HOUSE then went from room to room my heart broke I could feel myself lower pushing every tear down "when are you getting that car off MY driveway." I was taken back a little not a "hey how are you doing with all this?" I said nothing and I looked away pushing back my tears. They talked about a garbage disposal. He left with his b word wife who sat in their car on the phone laughing.

I chatted with my cousin who thinks I'm wrong for feeling the way I do sometimes but she informed my brother was talking badly about me. Idk what I even did to him, she said she was angry "the things you've done for him" and brought up the beautiful crochet bouquet I made for her on her wedding day she picked out the yarn and was so excited. I knew she didn't appreciate it. When I helped clean their place it was smashed inside a box tossed in the back of a closet. I made it small enough that she could get a vase and put it on a shelf to display. It broke my heart I put love in every stitch.

He came over to help with our deep freeze he apologized to me. He said he's stressed and he loves me I just do feel it. There's other stuff how I'm not trusted to watch their baby because my husband put a inappropriate card down in card against humanity and for some reason she hates him.. he thinks she's jealous of our relationship that we went through hard things and we came ahead. Idk the next few days I'm resting and unpacking.. I'm glad I have my family my husband and kids are all I need

Update 8/11

As this is a big one get ready for the ride.. I've stepped back, i have realized I don't matter to my family unless they need something from me. I was swallowed into a deep depression recently and I'm done.

I was slowly pulling back when my brother called me, about the 4th I told him as I appreciate the invite I don't think I could mentally handle it. He seemed to understand, hurt he went to our mother. I had gone over because my dad asked my daughter to help with my niece the annoyance again "why wasn't I asked?" "Why are they always asking other people." I was angry because my dad doesn't watch babies. And my mom has cancer and is sick plus.she just had chemo the day before.

Well my daughter said sure I could use the money as I was dropping her off my dad wasn't there. At this point I'm annoyed because yet again I get roped into something I didn't volunteer. My idiot brother drops baby off says nothing to me or my daughter and leaves.. so I didn't know when she last ate when she was changed does she need a nap etc... my dad FINALLY arrives he then puts the work.load on me taken my daughter to the store and out for ice cream.. not only that my mom is chatting with me and making me feel bad about the 4th I told her I can't do this now her response was so cold "it's been 6months when are you going to get over this." I froze because I could feel the heat in my eyes.

She went one saying I chose this I then couldn't hold it "what would have happened at the end of January if we didn't get the loan." She scoffs at me "well you would have had to move." I looked at her tears streaming down my cheeks "then I didn't make the choice, did I?" She then rolled her eyes said I'm so dramatic and proceeded to tell me my brother is family at the end of the day that's who we have. I.shut down because she won't talk fault in this and it's all our fault

I'm crying at this point wishing I never came over because I didn't volunteer, at this pot my niece starts whining and guess what my idiot brother never packed formula or food.. I'm tired i want to leave but I'm stuck because my mom can't touch baby and my dad is gone. After hours my brother and SIL finally get back he still completely ignores me and we leave

He calls me a.few days later, I'm over it I'm he asks if we could do lunch,.I'm just exhausted... He then calls me.that Saturday I'm not mentally well but I agree we go and he talks about himself the whole time. The annoying work crap and I'm exhausted.. he came in cand chatted which felt like old times and I start feeling bad about the 4th I agreed.. I wish I didn't... The 4th was hard the kids wanted to go to the parade I'm running on a few hours of sleep regretting my choices. I get a nap and we end over I'm deeply emotional and I'm breathing tears going down my cheeks my husband wiped my tears a said "you say the word and we will leave."

I brought my crochet to distract me which didn't help because after we got out of the car my 5 yr old son says "are we coming back home?" Those words broke me and I sat there away from people quietly crying everyone ignoring my pain...I stayed until I couldn't and instead of my family leaving with me I was left alone on the 4th no kids no husband my husband dropped me off and left.. I cried most of the night feeling completely unloved alone and just exhausted... I passed out a few times.. my husband asked once how I was I never responded because he didn't care.. when they finally got back they all surrounded me telling me they didn't even have fun... The tradition is dead now...we took over the 4th we made it a party and involved everyone this was forced and gross.

The one thing that made me so angry is when my brother told me he is looking forward to moving out of state. That house I worked so hard for, the sweat tears and blood I put into caring for my grandparents is nothing to him. And to me that is sad the ungratefulness he has.. the disrespect towards me...

But he never checked in after the 4th no text no call he said he cared and loved me bull shit, my mom nothing my dad did ask me to lunch which he was on his phone or chatting with the waitress... So I decided no more from me... No.more help with cleaning no more drives to appointments no more Access to my emotions it's flat and dry, I may joke but they don't get me anymore...they have stopped asking too oh well... No happy ending here just an exhausted mom trying so hard to get us out of here