I don’t even know where to start, first of all I think I might’ve undiagnosed adhd (the anti-capitalism disorder yay!) or some sort of mental illness, like I actively try to find solutions to my problems and fix them, but my problem is I can never follow through on them or be consistent enough with them, for a while I tried to improve myself, get enough sunlight, wake up on time, eat healthier, quit social media etc.. and I was even successful for a while but then as usual everything fell apart, and I see myself going back to my old patterns, I can’t even get therapy because I don’t have any money, and also my parents don’t even believe in mental illness or anything like that, literally every advice on the internet to my problems is “get a job”, “move out” and just general “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” advice bro I don’t even have bootstraps I can’t do this alone, but I’m the only one who can save myself, but like how do I help myself when I don’t have the skills to help myself, I feel like I try really hard but it all goes to waste because I can’t be consistent enough, and even if it turns out I was right and I do have adhd I won’t feel satisfied because then I have to come to terms with the fact that I will never truly reach my potential because of how my brain is wired, I wish I could switch bodies with someone more competent and disciplined.

Oh and also I’m the eldest child of a brown family so naturally everyone expects me to succeed in everything and get an amazing career, man fuck my chud life.

I wish somebody else could live my life for me