I need some married women to tell me I'm not fucking insane because WHAT IS THIS EVENING

Okay. So tomorrow is my birthday.

I've been sick, I'm still recovering, I'm exhausted, I don't have much appetite and honestly I didn't want some massive birthday production. I just wanted a nice day, maybe some dinner and a birthday cake.

Simple.

Apparently not.

Earlier today my husband was being a complete fucking dickhead to our son. I'm not going to write the entire saga because we'd be here all night, but it really upset me.

I got sad and reacted because I was hurt watching him treat our kid that way.

Later he tells me that the way I reacted hurt HIS feelings.

Okay.

Fine.

Your feelings are valid. Mine were apparently just the opening act.

Whatever. We can talk about it.

BUT THEN WE GET TO THE CAKE.

My husband was actually supposed to make my birthday cake. That was the plan.

Except it's now 7pm and there is no cake.

And I'm thinking, okay, he's working tomorrow and taking our kid to jiu-jitsu, so by the time all that's done tomorrow it's going to be way too late to start making a fucking birthday cake.

So I say, basically:

"Never mind, I'll just make the cake myself. There's literally no time for you to do it tomorrow."

Apparently THAT offended him.

So I'm like okay, fine.

"You can make it tonight."

He says, "I can make it tonight."

Great.

Problem solved.

So I start looking for the fucking recipe.

I AM ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR THE CAKE RECIPE.

And this man decides THIS is the appropriate moment to start talking about his feelings again.

He's telling me he didn't like the way I reacted earlier.

I'm literally trying to find a cake recipe and I'm like:

"I can't deal with this right now, I'm looking for the cake recipe."

And he says:

"But I'm trying to tell you how I feel."

And something in my brain just fucking snapped.

I said:

**"So you want me to cater for your feelings now?"**

He says no.

So I ask:

"Then what is it?"

And...

Nothing.

Then he says he needs a nap.

?????????

IT IS 7PM.

So now he's downstairs "taking a nap" while looking at his phone, and I'm getting myself ready, making sure our kid is okay, and WALKING TO THE FUCKING GROCERY STORE TO BUY THE INGREDIENTS.

FOR THE CAKE.

THAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE.

FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

At this point I don't even want the fucking cake.

The cake can go fuck itself.

Honestly, my husband can also go fuck himself, respectfully.

And the best part is I'm STILL buying groceries because obviously our kid needs dinner and I need to prep his school lunch for tomorrow.

So I'm walking around Woolies doing Mum shit while internally having a complete fucking existential crisis over a birthday cake.

And I've reached the point where I'm like...

You know what?

Once I put my kid to bed tonight, I'm going out.

Not dramatically.

Not to leave my husband.

Not to make anyone jealous.

I just want to GO SOMEWHERE.

I want to find an all-women's bar, sit down, order something, and talk absolute shit with other women.

I want to complain about husbands.

I want someone to tell me their husband once pissed them off so badly they considered putting him on Marketplace.

I want someone to say "GIRL, SAME."

I want to laugh.

I want to remember that I am a person and not just someone's wife and someone's mum and apparently the fucking birthday cake department.

I don't even want advice.

I genuinely just want to know that other married women have had evenings where they've stood in a grocery store thinking:

"How the fuck did this become my problem?"

Because right now I'm approximately one minor inconvenience away from buying myself a supermarket cupcake, sticking a candle in it, and declaring the entire birthday cake situation officially cancelled.

Anyway.

Thanks for coming to my fucking TED Talk.

P.S pardon my swearing