I got caught by police !

Its a bit late but it still stays with me. Anyone have experienced this can elaborate. i am a male 20 years old and diagnosed BP. It happened when i was 19 . It was a drunken drive case.The police attitude towards me was so wrong neither mine.Before jumpin to conclusion the fault is fully mine.i got drunk and go to nearby store to buy lighter for cig. when i came back i had a friend behind me we have both no helmet. We saw the police chasin .He told me to go...go , i have gone, understand its my call i was driving i should have stopped it. I have gone and parked and escaped.5 mints later i have came back to look at my vehicle and then stand theres the police , i tried to ran away but he were already caught my vehicle.I tried to tell him sir please dont charge any case as he will leave me. He put a lock in my hand put me in the back of his jeep . After that he made me sign a couple of papers and took my phone number , the policemen who wrote my number wrongly so he think i tried to fool them .he called me many abusive words , if there were only police there wouldnt be no problem, there were other peoples too . I feel extreme shame and regret that i thought if i got a couple of cyanide i will gladly drink it .they took my phone and make me run so many times.

Probably i should have accepted the fate take responsible for the actions, but all i did was beggin and cryin and i couldnt escape the problem , makes the policemen bully me more and i should follow the law consequences afterwards. Question is why am i like this why tf would i beg them, Its my err and i tried to correct it why ? Am like fukin clown.Idk. theres these periods of time i will do some reckless endanger activity and dont take responsibilty. I think i should just fukin die rather than livin like a peace of crap