My (f19) boyfriend (m20) keeps having weird things pop up on his phone. Any ideas as to why?

This is my siblings account because I don't use reddit. Ive been dating my boyfriend since January 9th, 2025. When we first got together, it wad great, the honeymoon phase like normal. I was head over heels in love. I always had trust issues due to past experiences, which I know I am not supposed to bring that into my current relationships, but I can't really help it sometimes. Fast forward to July 2025, we buy an apartment together. Everything is great up until September.

Now this might sound stupid but I had a dream about him cheating, and it made me want to take a look at his phone. I seen that a few days prior, he had downloaded and played a game called "Janitor For Love" which ended up being a hentai game. I literally exploded. I looked in the middle of the night or early morning so when I found out this information, I had to wake him up, I couldnt hold it in.

Originally it was "Oh Ive never done this, it was only once, I played this game before meeting you and wanted to play it again." I look. He's had it bought since March or May of 2025. So that was a lie. He promised he never did anything else and I search his entire phone, as far back as I can go. Hentai photos his friends have sent to him since high-school, saved to his alt on Snapchat. More hentai games he's played. He had OnlyFans as a MINOR and was paying women while we were dating to see them naked. He used fansly too​, and probably watched normal porn but honestly, I didnt see any links to that.

I wanted to leave, that really devastated me, we weren't far enough into the relationship yet for me to handle this change in how I view him, I was still romanticizing how amazing he was to me, the gifts he'd buy me, how he'd actually care about my feelings and emotions, etc. I gave him another chance. Everything was deleted, I had his phone child safety locked, where I can access what he's doing (but it doesnt show me anything honestly and it doesnt properly blur or hide inappropriate stuff)

Everything was fine until March. Id have little freak outs here and there where Id get worried he's cheating and have to check, but he wasnt then. Until March. I checked, he had searched up how to delete his search history. He played it off at first, but I convinced him a few days later I knew, I figured out at work ​I can check his history, and obviously that freaked him out. He ended up saying that he looked up Raven, from Teen Titans, in lingerie. On Reddit.​ Once again, explosion from me, he's sad, he has no excuse, promises he did nothing to it, just looked and felt bad and deleted. Okay I suppose. I forgave him, again. And now we are here.

He hasn't done much to my knowledge. The past maybe month and a half he wouldn't get off his phone. He keeps looking at car shit. I keep checking. Nothing had seemed out of the ordinary. A few days ago while checking, I logged into his old Facebook he still had logged in, and I was looking around. He had no one added on it, no searches, nothing. But somehow, all of his reels were porn. Most were clips of naked ladies and links underneath. Literal shit Ive NEVER seen on Facebook. And somehow it's in his reels when it never had been before? That really upset me. I wake him up, ask him about it because Im tired of freaking out, and he just denies having anything to do with it. My problem is, he seems to lie until he is caught in the lie, he's never actively told me "Hey, I relapsed" or a "Hey, I messed up and looked at some stuff again" nothing. ​​So him denying it can be a bad sign. But I let him off, delete the account, and all was well.

This morning, I checked his normal Facebook, and half his Facebook Marketplace posts on his fyp thing are just hentai dolls​​. I have no idea why. Not even in his recent views or searches. Google said it's because Facebook tracks your information everywhere.

He said he's a recovering porn addict. He's pretty much jerked off every day since we were together before I moved in.​ He said he's been doing it since he was 8. I was willing to help him and give him a chance, but its hard when he's not honest. I am afraid to give up so much of my life to someone who is so willing to look at other girls. I know its normal for men to do that, but since the moment we got together, ive talked about how ​that stuff would hurt me if it happened again, and how I find viewing porn or of models as cheating. I just dont know what to do.

And please don't judge me for not leaving, we met on TikTok, we were teenagers, I moved 20 hours away from my home and family to be with him. Im in New York now, my family is in Missouri. I really have nowhere to go. I haven't made one friend since Ive been up here because I have issues making friends. So its been a struggle for me to not feel alone.

I dont know if he is still doing things, but Id like your guy's idea. Especially with finding the porn and hentai dolls recently on two different Facebooks, I just dont know. He barely talks to me anymore, he just​ talks about our new car.​ the moment he comes home from work, he's searching up car stuff. I just feel like he's getting distant. We also are both pretty sexual normally and we barely do it anymore, and when confronted as to why we only do it maybe once a week, he explained because of his past problems and being super sexual, he doesnt want to have it so much with me that he'll "try to seek it somewhere else"?? Which is weird?? He's never said anything like that before. Im remotely insecure and obviously very suspicious so I am scared he's into some lady at work or something but I don't know.

Please dont be mean, I want and need genuine advice. I am waiting for my medicaid card fo come in the mail and I will be getting myself help as soon as it does, so please dont push for that either.​

Thanks on advance for any ideas or advice 🙏 Im sorry for the rant