does anybody else feel like doing anything is like high diving/jumping off a platform ...

... where it's so scary you just can't bring yourself to it, but the moment you jumped and you're in the water, you are always swimming (i.e. doing) much, much better than you expected?

you experience it constantly enough in life but instead of getting used to it, you have that exhausting feeling of knowing how well you will do in the water, but the fear of jumping never goes away even the slightest bit?

and the even scarier part is, thinking you might genuinely never be able to jump unless someone else pushes you from behind, but your autistic instinct is to dread and avoid any such person in the first place?