Why does everyone blame the victim? [SPOILER SEASON 3 - FINALE]

I am just baffled at the mass victim blaming Helaena after last night's episode. It makes me realize most mentally able/and neurotypicals hate the existence of characters with mental illnesses and autism when it's unmasked. Genuinely I need someone to give me 3 reasons Helaena's death is her own fault and how she had the power to change everything with the snap of her fingers. It's Alicent's fault she got confined. It's Alicent's fault telling Rhaenyra who's not in her right mind that she basically has a magic 8 ball she can shake around and get answers from. Then Rhaenyra FORCE FEEDS HER which is literally a FORM OF TORTURE!!! Some of you are genuinely heartless victim blamers, Rhaenyra literally says THAT SHES INNOCENT!!!! The only time she had any power at all, and it nearly didn't work/was questioned at first, was when she was queen reagent when her brothers disappeared AND SHE LET Rhaenyra take the thrown while asking minimal questions.