It happened again

Hi guys, I came back to this community because a situation happened for the second time, I'd like to share my story with you hoping for some kind of support.

Let's name this girl LC. LC is an older woman who I've had sex for two years, but the first time we had sex I simply couldn't get hard, and it was really frustrating. There were various combinations for it to happened, I didn't sleep well, was constantly masturbating and had my body and mind on the effect of MDMA. I decided from that moment on to stop masturbating for good, and Lu help me with it, she gave me a second chance and after about two weeks we tried again and this time I didn't masturbate, stopped with the drugs and slept better. And it was like this for about a whole month, I didn't use drugs and didn't masturbate. LC and I had plenty of sex during this time, although I stopped with the drugs completely I started mastubating again as we had relations for about two years until our relationship ended.

Now it comes to this other girl, GB. She is a girl I always liked from my time in high school, we started texting each other a few months ago and I was still into her and started flirting, eventually we decided to have sex. I was mastubating constantly thinking it wouldn't affect my performance, I couldn't be more wrong, as soon as we went to the motel we started banging, but suddenly I felt tired and could get hard. I felt ashamed, she was comprehensible about it, GB was always an amazing friend, but I couldn't forgive myself. This shit happened for the second time and I didn't use any drugs. I'm having trouble going to sleep and this fucking addiction I've had since I was 11 years old. Luckily GB chose to give me a second chance. Thankfully because I really really really like her.

After all this I decided to make it my life's mission to stop mastubating for good, I don't want it anymore, I always had it but couldn't give up on it. I'll relapse as many times as it takes, but eventually I'll get rid of it, I want to, I always did. This fucking thing ruined me. I know it won't be easy, but I'm willing to try as many times as it takes.

If you read my story till here, thank you and I hope you'll support me because I really need it.