Broke up again!

Me and my bf, both 20, we dated for 1.5yrs till nov, I completely fucked up the relationship, I mean, lying, manipulating the truth to make him stay and much more, he became more and more conscious of my actions and I became more and more scared and frustrated, we broke up and then

I worked on myself in order to be trustworthy, I watched self help videos, searched my patterns and went back to him after 6 months of breaking up,

While we were broken up, he asked out a girl, she rejected him , few days before I texted him that I want to reconcile

It took him time to realise what has changed about me and what not, we spoke for 19 days

He did tell me abt the other girl, how he doesn't have any feelings abt her and all

We spoke for 19 days and then started dating

I decided to give the relationship 6 months to see where this is going

We dated for 1 month, in which we went through ups and downs of him not wanting to talk to me, we spending good time together, me getting frustrated , him being angry / pissed at me , him being scared because of my past, and stuff like this

Once, he told me he has thoughts abt the other girl ( none of them sexual) , and then we concluded that "it's his mind protecting him from discomfort"

Then, a point of time, where communication was crooked between us and I told him "you aren't there when I needed you"

He said, "I have thoughts about her, and I think I should be alone rn and resolve them by myself, cuz it feels bad to be with you and have thoughts about her"

I was broken, because I was mad at him and didn't stop loving him at all, I thought it was a fight and nothing more

Now we've broken up and

We have thought about going no contact for a month and then to decide whether to go ahead or not

Bro, ik how much I fucked and I know how beautiful the relationship could've been if I wasn't a dum dum

And there are just some qualities in him that I am sure abt I want in my future partner (I am not sure abt most of the things in life) , I like his being ness

I really really want to date him again if he's ready to put in the efforts to trust me and the efforts to reconnect

But as well, I fear, that if we date again and he'll again have thoughts about her which crushes my soul

Should I tell him all of this? , My reason to want to date him, my fears , my anxiety

Or

Just not give the relationship a third chance