Can someone please put my torrent on TPB for me?

I'm releasing my EP on The Pirate Bay as a middle finger to Spotify, and naively thought I could easily upload it. I've promoted it to be coming out tomorrow, but it looks like it's a real labyrinth to get my own account registered, and I'm even struggling to get a URL from Vuze. Is there anyone here that could help me? I could send you the folder through a Drive link, or whatever is easiest (it's only 45mb). The help would be hugely appreciated. Thank you dear pirates