by definition almost homeless

i have no home. i've been couch surfing and squatting for 5 years. it's so. exhausting because i try to get an apartment and i have my fiancé and we make enough to afford rent but renters in nyc want us to make so much money, 70x the rent. or they want my credit to be off the roof! my father is supportive but not enough to let me stay in his house or be a guarantor. i had an apartment for the housing lottery but they claimed i made so little even though i had more than enough proof that i made within the median, then when they saw that it was too late as my median was already filled and i didn't meet the next median. i just really want a home for myself and i don't want to impose and couch surf anymore. im 23 i'm engaged and i really want to have a family one day. i search everyday for apartments and it's always the same thing "you don't fit the income" "you don't fit the credit". i have ocd and crippling panic disorder/anxiety it is very hard for me to be in a shelter mentally hence why i couch surf. now i'm staying at my fiancés mothers house with my fiancé but one week turned into 10 months. i dread the day she tells me i have to leave and i know my fiancé will stick up for me no matter what i say and possibly get on bad terms with his own family. im so exhausted, a part of me wants to just sleep until someone miraculously calls me and says "we have an apartment for you!" and everything gets better but i know that wont do anything so i get up and scroll and apply and search, take breaks in between and play games, then back at it again.

this was a vent but if anyone has any resources for me or any ideas i can do. or if you also are going through something similar and want to vent feel free to do so in my comments, i dont mind. if you want to also ask me how i got to this point i will tell...

‼️I AM NOT ASKING FOR MONEY OR FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE‼️