confession

I'm trying to make this less vulgar. Im carrying big guilt and no matter how many times friends comforted me I can't get rid of it. Long story short, I was on school trip in Greece. Being teens we are, we wanted go clubbing. I drank alot I was mortus drunk. And there was guy 18, my age from my country but another city. I came up to him said I liked him we got out and made out. Then I performed oral sex on him. It was my first kiss let alone anything more. We didnt really have sex other than me just giving him oral.. I feel so guilty and dirty even saying these. He was kind, he didnt leave me alone he understood me got me back to hotel and disappeared. Never remembered his name or which city he is from maybe its best that way. I broke that night crying I was hysterical. My classmates comforted me. They shared their stories making me feel slightly better because I was like "Im not only one, Im not alone" in that moment. They mainly wanted to beat him up because they tought he raped me, but he didnt. I dont wanna accuse him of that. I explained them that in that moment I wanted to experience it I wanted to know how it feels like. And then guilt crahsed down on me after it because Idk... I kinda grow up in mildy religious family and I was extremely religious few years ago but then became lukewarm. I still hold this opinion that its wrong to have sex just like that. Im not really on side "sex after marriage" but Im also not happy with having sex with stranger. I always wanted my first moment to be with future boyfriend... I wish to tell my parents and siblings because I need their comfort most and their validation but I think Ill go to grave rather than give them such piece of information. I usually overshare with them everything because I feel most safe with them, I feel selfish saying friends comfort wasnt enough but its just not same... I think this guilt will never leave me. I start thinking I'm doing better and then remembered that night... Im cringing even rn..