I feel stuck and doomed

I feel like im stuck bc there is no future for me, no job i could do, no major i could study, heck im paranoically scared of final exams at high school, every year i feel like i have less and less chances to pass them and less and less iq, as if i was regressing instead of progressing, as if i was getting dumber. I havent study this year (im in 3th grade of high school, starting 4th after summer) bc i genuinely didnt wanted and i procrastinated everything possible. I feel like in my life there was nothing before and there will be nothing after this current moment, like im stuck in a dark empty room with no escape and this room is getting smaller and smaller. And everyone else is outside, in the sun, living freely, with their lovest ones. I know its not like that and others still have their problems but that's just how I feel from the outside.

I hate myself, my brain, my personality, everything, i feel like im the biggest problem in my life bc im the root of all my problems, and most of my problems are silly and exist only in my head, and no one else struggles with them, and i cant do nothing about them bc they are unchangeable.

I wish i was never born at all, it would be better for everyone, for me bc i wouldn't have to live through all that shit, for people around me bc if i was never born then they would never meet me and they wouldn't grief someone they never knew and also i dont think their lives would change in any way tbh, i dont bring anything to the world, im almost invincible, sometimes i feel like i dont exist at all, like im just a ghost wandering around, bc i dont matter, i spend more time in my own head than actually being alive.

Every time i make mistake i feel like the only solution is to put me down like a dog. I feel completely useless, defective, as if i was a sick, disabled dog who should have never been born, whoose destiny is to suffer and rot bc there is nothing it can do but no one lets it get put down and cease its pain and everyone just forcefully keeps it alive longer than it should. I wish i was aborted, im a premature baby btw, not very premature, i was almost full term, but enough for me to be doomed.

I feel bad for complaining so much bc im not physically disabled or abused or whatever, my family loves me, but i dont even feel like i deserved their love, i feel like they deserved a better child.

life sucks and idk how people enjoy it, there is little to enjoy here, if i could choose to be born or not i wouldn't choise to be born bc its just a waste of time, why bother? I feel like there is something wrong with me