thank you for answering

thank you for telling me I don’t have to feel awkward. I forget that no matter how much time passes sometimes that you’ll always be there. I don’t want to put a lot on you but you still mean the world to me. i love you and I missed you. I’m so anxious to hear back from you. I’m so anxious even though I made the move to call you. I think it’s just that you’re my first love and you know me in ways no one else could. I missed your laugh. I missed your voice. and I missed the aura you always had that it’s okay for me to exist and take up space. that it’s okay for me to leave and come back like you do too. I’ll probably never tell how you how I really feel. how much I’ve thought about you after all of this time. how many times I thought about reaching out. how I know us being together could never be a thing.

so instead I’ll ask how your mom is. and your sister and brother too. and I’ll make a bunch of awkward jokes to make you laugh and break the tension. or maybe we can get back to being honest. and I’ll tell you how life has been hell. and you’ll send me a song that communicates your feelings in a way words never could. we’ll never be strangers. even if it’s been months. or years apparently. i fucking missed you

thank you for knowing me. thank you for loving me. thank you for answering. I think you’ll always be my best friend. how is it that you’ll always be my best friend? I’ll let you have this one “I told you so.” you were right about him. you were right about things. i can’t wait to laugh about it