Dinner: some bbq pringles because I’m broke a depressed as hell

!!TW!! DV

Yesterday my bf(33) and I(32) got into a verbal fight because I’m so tired of people walking all over him. His friend had him cat sit for more 6 weeks and paid him nothing! They aren’t even close friends by any means. I told him he should read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” it’s a great people on how to talk to people and approach situations.

!! That apparently struck a chord with him and he started shit talking my best friend of 13 years and there’s a reason he’s my only friend. I’m AuDHD, and only found out recently and that tops my CPTSD. So yeah I struggle to make friends, I have buttloads of trauma and am neurodivergent. I’m not okay with that in the slightest. He wouldn’t apologize to me at all and slept on the couch. This morning I apologized to him for some of uncalled for things that I said that hurt his feeling but he refused to apologize anything again and didn’t want to talk to me. He started slamming his electric scooter on the floor and then slammed our front door shut. Fast forward to later today, I’m laying on the bathroom floor because I’ve been puking from not eating(stress and poverty), he comes home and all the sudden he wants to talk. He kinda apologized but won’t apologize for what he said about my best friend, which again I’m not okay with. I was so over this shit so I got up to call my mom and while I was sitting on the bed talking to her, he tried to grab the phone out of my hand so he can do idk what with it. Hang it up, try and control the narrative. He ends up pushing me down on the bed and he put his hand on my throat, in the skirmish I lost my phone but my mom heard everything. I had to call 911. His composure completely 180’d and he was suddenly so calm. Well he’s in jail right now, idk how the hell im even going to leave. I’m disabled and broke with no support network. I feel so lost and heart broken, I know this is the end but I didn’t ever want it to be like this.

I know it might sound like I’m defending an abuser here but 1) I’m not saint I’m actually pretty shitty myself 2) I deeply empathize with him because with both come broken homes with abusive parents !!

Can someone please give me a hug. I need one so fucking badly

Whelp there goes my relationship