I am terrified for the next three days and Friday, and I’m just laying here crying.

So, on Friday I have to do another stand test. This will be the third one because my old GP didn’t do the first one correctly and wouldn’t listen to me that it wasn’t correct.

The second one he wouldn’t diagnose me because my blood pressure dropped slightly in the last 30 seconds and having a HR over 120 over a sustained minute (mine was over 130 the entire time) is only criteria that’s diagnostic in the states. So, if I go see a doc in Montana, I have POTS. Come back up here? No pots. But I have also watch data from a year that every doctor who sees it says I have pots, my pain doctor even finally put me on propranolol because my symptoms were getting so bad and it was a night and day symptom and vital difference and then when I went off it for 2 weeks it was a drastic difference (my one shower I was up to 178 and when I got out and laid down it dropped 70BPM in 11 seconds)

So I have doctors who fully acknowledge and treat me with the POTS in mind with their treatments and they’ll mention it in letters but no one will OFFICIALLY diagnose me.

So I see this new specialist. He wants to refer me to dr raj, and says it won’t take 3-4 years because he “knows what to write.” Okay dude whatever you say. He needs a new stand test. Okay.

He wants me off my ADHD meds and the propranolol obviously, which I had to do last time so no problem. But he also said he wants me off my antidepressants for 3 days too. Normally; also not a problem. However a couple of months ago I got switched to venlafaxine (Effexor) for treatment resistant and to hit both receptors they prescribe you a way higher dose. I’m on 225mg. I was on a lower dose when I was 19 and I remember the hell it was coming off of it and I tapered and he wants me to cut out 225mg cold turkey when it has very similar withdrawals to cymbals. At the same time I am tapering off of other meds the last few weeks, and I’ll be off the propranolol, the adhd meds matter less I think.

I am REALLY not prepared for how sick I am about to feel for the next 3 days for this stand test.. and I just really wish someone would see what is obvious and diagnose me or the other doctors who already do would.

When I’m even late with that med it feels like my brain rattles around in my skull and I don’t know if I can get through this. And I go through a lot of unpleasant and highly painful stuff but the POTS makes me feel so sick and then we’re taking away the one thing that controls the POTS at all too.

I haven’t been this afraid of a medical thing in a very long time.