Tired of wanting it

19m here. I think all I’ve ever really wanted is to be somebody’s kid. “Oh, yeah, him? That’s ___’s kid.” And it’s someone who loves me unconditionally, someone I can talk to, someone who protects me. Someone who chooses me. I was distraught to find that this wanting only ramped up after I moved out and distanced myself from my actual parents.

Can you grow out of it? The hurt from living there has already started to fade since I left. But will it just feel like a hole forever? I’m so tired of wanting a hug that I know isn’t coming. Found family, friends, mentors, sure. But parents? I missed my shot. I don’t want to want it anymore, hurts too bad.