What would you do?

My partner and I have been together for 13 years never once has he ever done anything remotely close to flirting with another women. He works away and has recently expressed that he needed more from me and wanting to feel wanted. The way it was expressed was that he wanted nudes/flirting/sexting while he’s away. I did not prioritize this because I am not super sexual in that way. However, sex life when he’s home has no issues.

Last time he went to work he mentioned he was going to see his best friend for one night over the long weekend and hangout with her and her family (husband and baby). Again this is normal didn’t think anything of it and I had offered to make a trip out of it but he just wanted to go alone so they could hangout without everyone which also fair we just went on a trip together I also have a best friend of the opposite sex there is something about just being you two to talk about your relationship and life in a different way.

I had a weird feeling when he was home I saw sexting messages before he wanted to book the trip to see her. She mentioned she had a dream he ignored and she mentioned it again and then things escalated. No it didn’t repeatedly continue and they didn’t speak for a bit. After that they were texting more often and nothing serious just day to day what they’re doing a selfie here and there no nudes. They’ve been friends for 15+ years and never was there something there. I know she had mentioned she was feeling a bit neglected on mat leave and husband working. My partner working away from home I’m generally not responding that frequently when I’m working so I get what he may be feeling but by no means am I accepting this as an excuse.

There are some little details that he claims are just coincidences but with that being said I confronted him. She called me the next day and the thing is I know they don’t want to be together and it wouldn’t have actually turned into a life together. But I don’t understand the timing why did you need to visit her after that happened and he is claiming it was just to hangout. Regardless they in a way just got the feeling of feeling wanted in a safe space and I love him very much. They obviously have made the decision to no longer speak since she wants nothing more than her family and he wants us to work.

I spoke with her husband and we’re in the same headspace. We were always seen as the perfect couple, in love, considerate, trying new things … everything was fun together. Yes maybe over time as we got older things seem a bit more routine and things were maybe less intense as honeymoon stage. But not once did I stop caring or loving him. I guess I’m having a hard time navigating this cause he’s willing to do anything it takes he’s admitting he’s wrong but I’m just so mad. I keep bringing up if I didn’t catch this what would have happened when you went?

I’m seeing a therapist for the first time and want us to see a couples therapist as well. I am having a hard time getting over this and moving on. What am I suppose to do?