Can you ever be enough for yourself?

I don’t like to be alone with my thoughts everything I think is self deprecating and I consistently desire to be wanted and be enough and I know I have to accept that some paths are permanently closed to me now because I fucked up but it’s so hard to do I get it I’m not entitled to be cared about but why am I always looking for it what is the point of being alive if you mean nothing even to yourself I can’t get myself out of this mindset for 2 years and now it’s like everything i do I’m just detached I feel like if I’m not working I’ll go crazy thinking to myself and I want to go out and do things myself but then I feel like such a fucking loser being alone every activity I want to do requires other people I want to find my peace I’m not crazy I just don’t feel like I have value