Anyone else take borderline overdose amounts of drugs to not cut?

My drug use is definitely self harm I keep taking more and more and I'm on so much and I just more. Apparently I'm at a siezure risk and to that I say good I want to shake and twitching. Hands are twitching and feet.

I realized it was self harm. Haven't cut for like 2 weeks so I'm like I'm "clean" but this drug use isn't fun I'm not doing anything different just watching YouTube and taking more and more I dream of overdosing, I draw my extreme fantasies of bad shit doing to myself fuck my fuck my life maybe i shoold kist download Grindr have someone fuck me till I'm broken. I'm so done I get so fucking triggered my I see my legs and it's weather j can't not wear shorts. Had to tell my sister (who doesn't know what sh is) a funny story about getting attacked by a raccoon to distract her I wasn't It tattooed but I can't wait that long to not slice up my thighs. I'm so lonely I just want a hug:(

Anyway I hope you all are having a lovely day, stay say everyone:)