Disobeyed God again

Going through something unusual, very abnormal that most believers never had to struggle with. So today God told me not to go outside and I went outside. I had been in the house all day today and yesterday and wanted a snack. I knew though because of what I have been dealing with. Yes, when I went outside something bad happened. Now I’m back home regretting not obeying. How can God help me if basic instructions aren’t followed? Just needed to vent to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I wish God would take me soon. Living on this earth is not for everyone. I made a mistake today, a bad one. Disobedient one. Right after intense prayer but for food for greed “snacks” I went outside when God was trying to protect me. With the situation I’m in j can’t afford to disobey. Please pray for me.