22F, bf 22M, LDR for 10 weeks, he just told me he’s scared he can’t provide for me. what do i say to him?

Need Advice

so my boyfriend (22M) and i (22F) have been doing long distance for about 10 weeks now. we’re actually seeing each other in 6 days for the first time since it started so i’m SO excited but also this happened last night and i can’t stop thinking about it.
quick context: quick context: i’m from brazil, he’s american (from illinois). i’m about to go finish my bachelor’s at a university in illinois, then i’m planning to stay in the US for my master’s too, and eventually just build my life/career here long term. he’s doing his master’s in baltimore right now. i come from a wealthier family, he’s from a normal middle class background. we’ve never made a big deal out of that difference before.

last night i asked if he’d be able to come visit me in illinois for our one year anniversary (in October), and it turned into a much deeper conversation than i expected. he opened up and said he’s scared he won’t be able to provide for me, for the kind of life i’m used to. like he’s genuinely worried he’s not going to be “enough” financially down the line.

i told him none of that matters to me, that i’m going to build my own career and income too, that this was never a “who provides” thing for me, and that being together is literally my end goal. i meant every word. but he still seemed kind of shaken by it and i don’t think one conversation erased the worry.

has anyone dealt with this? where your partner doubts himself because of a income/class difference, even when you’ve told them it doesn’t matter to you? what helped, if anything? i don’t want him carrying this quietly for months. i love him so much and the idea that he thinks he’s not “enough” for me kind of breaks my heart. any advice on how to actually get through to him, or things i could do (not just say) to make him feel secure in this?

Posted Aug 12, 2026, 3:22 AM UTC

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