My (41/F) husband’s (42/M) snoring is killing our marriage. Would you leave?

Background: My husband and I have been married for 17 years and have two kids. They are teenagers.

He’s had a snoring problem for several years, but it’s only the last two that have me near my end and the behaviors along with it. Approximately 1.5 years ago I asked him to start sleeping in the guest bedroom after 3-4 months of getting about three hours of sleep, which occurred before he would come to bed. He’d fall asleep, immediately start snoring and then I was up for the remainder of the night.

He refuses to see a doctor. He’s bought nose tape, mouth tape, chin hammocks. All the stupid crap off Amazon. It doesn’t work. He completely ruins vacations or out of town trips when we all have to sleep in the same room. I don’t even want to plan these now.

We’re also not really allowed to bring it up. We do anyway, but he shuts down or gaslights us into feeling bad for “picking on him.” Since he moved to another bed, we’ve probably had sex 4-5 times. At the beginning it was simply a proximity and timing thing. Now, I’m mad and don’t want to give him that if he’s not going to give back to our relationship by seeking help. This is also held against me as though I’m simply unwilling.

It seems harsh to say I could divorce him. He’s a good person, even better dad. But I feel completely neglected by his refusal to fix this. I’ve gotten his parents involved. Mine too. Nothing seems to work.