Jesus rejected me

Hi all. Just wanted to share my experience. I heard the call from God to go to Maine in 2008. I didn't have the money to move so I asked my mother if I could go she said no. Threatened to call police and have me arrested. I tried in 2022, after she had died, I ended up homeless. Now I'm so miserable. Jesus pretty much rejected me. I don't understand. He let Judas follow him. Me, no