How do I handle this past trauma and how it relates to my gf wanting me to drink?

So I was SA’d (I’m a guy btw) in the past. And I used to do a lot to get rid of my pain. Along with the fact that I was sad from not finding a girl who loves me for me (Like I could’ve found a girlfriend but I was just sad in not finding true love). I would hookup with girls because it helped ease my mind. And because it made me feel loved even if i wasn’t actually love.

And during this time, I would go drinking a lot. Some of my friends thought I was an alcoholic. Anyways, I’m not the worst looking guy, and I remember my friend’s girlfriends warning me about not going to a bar because people spike drinks (One of them found me attractive as horrible as it sounds). And I think it made me paranoid. Along with some of my friends acting sus. Like one of my former friends straight up grabbed me inappropriately before saying goodbye because he was leaving. And I straight up froze like when I got SA’d. And I legit remember one time passing out with that guy and my other friend. And it made me more paranoid! Because I’m really good at handling my drinks. And that one time I was with him I passed out? Anyways, I try to be “rational.” Maybe I’m just overthinking things.

But anyways, onto the present. My girl and I been talking. And she doesn’t like that I don’t drink. Even if I tell her that I become depressed if I drink, she still is so persistent on me drinking! I tried not to show it, but I was mad inside. Like does she expect me to ease up with her for sex? Because in the past, she used to tell me she would want to be drunk in order to have sex. And it did go well with me being comfortable of having sex with a drunk woman. We haven’t had sex yet, and I know she craves it as much as me. But I hope she doesn’t view me drinking with her as a way to have sex. Like a sane person wouldn’t need to do that to have sex with someone. I don’t want to be mean to her, but I’m like “really?”