Struggling with self image and weight gain + 11.5cm fibroid.

Hi all I’m really struggling with my weight at the moment I’m the heaviest iv ever been. Iv have been eating clean along with tracking my meals in a calorie deficit but I always used to exercise and now I have absolutely no motivation to do it I just don’t know what to do or why this is. I have a 11.5cm fibroid and I’m starting to wonder if this is causing it. I’m currently 95kg and feel like I look huge I absolutely hate it….. only 3 months ago I was 85kg and I just can’t understand how iv gained so much weight so fast! Is it hormones, is it the fibroid, is it me failing to eat well enough. I just feel horrible and disgusting. I have a appt regarding removal of the fibroid on the 19th and I’m just hoping once it’s removed I’ll be able to get back to where I was 😪 any advice or feedback would help 💕